Canine Affinity
by Cybele Adam
Summary: Feeling abandoned by James, who spends nearly all his time with Lily, Sirius becomes closer to Remus. Longer summary inside. [Slash. All in Remus's point of view.]
1. Jealousy

**Canine Affinity**

_**Warning:** Not for people who don't like to see two boys romantically involved... Rated PG-13 for a few vague allusions in later chapters. __Oh, and, although it can be read independently, this story is kind of the second part of the Lily/James I wrote before (Change of Heart). If you wish to read that as well, it would be logical to do it before reading this (however, I must tell you that the first chapter at least is full of awkward sentences - I noticed when I translated it into French but I haven't had time to rewrite it yet). _

**Summary:** The Marauders' seventh year. James spends so much time with Lily that Sirius feels abandoned by his best friend. Remus does his best to distract Sirius from his jealousy and, as they become closer, gradually finds out he likes him "just a little too much". Is that because he can't trust anyone but his three friends, who know his secret and accept him just the way he is? And maybe also because of his animal part, that goes along so well with Sirius's - because of that "canine affinity," as Sirius refers to it jokingly... In short, Remus asks himself a lot of questions, when Sirius just acts and talks without thinking the best part of the time. Maybe they're not made for each other but...maybe they are._  
_

_Disclaimer: _

_As you all know, Mrs J. K. Rowling is the highly talented author who __  
__created the characters I borrowed to write this. __  
__And since no one would be stupid enough to pay for this __  
__when I'm publishing it here, where anyone can read whatever they want for free, __  
__you're bound to have guessed I'm not making any money, aren't you ?_

_Thank yous:_

_To _**_Maggie,_** _who corrected my grammar mistakes and pointed out my awkward wordings._

_And to _**_Arca, _**_who made very good suggestions to improve this chapter.__  
_

_Dedication: _

_To _**_Akari,_**_ my Italian friend, who wrote very good Sirius/Remus stories in Italian,__  
__available (as well as their French versions, made by me) __on her website __(see my profile for a link). _

_And to _**_Nicky_**_, my "near twin" sister, __who has always imagined with me lots of stories like this one.__  
_  
_°_  
_° ° °_

**Chapter 1 - Jealousy**

A loud exclamation echoed in the dormitory, waking Remus up with a start.

He didn't even wonder who had screamed or why he had; the voice was definitely Sirius's, and Remus didn't need explanations to guess that "What? Again?!" meant that James was planning to meet Lily sometime during the day and that Sirius thought it happened too often. Nothing new. Sirius had been complaining about that for weeks - more exactly since Halloween, that's to say a little more than a month ago already.

Just like Remus was expecting, James asked, "What's wrong with that?" Sirius's sharp reply was not long in coming.

"You're letting us down, Prongs, _that's_ what's wrong! You're letting us down for a _girl_!"

It was true, in a way. James did spend much more time with Lily that he had ever done with any other girl, and consequently, his friends saw him rather rarely outside classes. But Remus would never have thought of blaming him for that. It seemed quite normal to him, and he knew James wouldn't let him down for what was really important. Prongs would never be missing on a full moon night, and that was the only proof of friendship that Moony needed from him.

However, Sirius's reaction was understandable as well. He and James had always been closer to each other than to Remus or Peter. In what Remus mentally called the Marauders family, Prongs and Padfoot were like twins - inseparable, and so used to sharing everything with their _alter ego_ that joys didn't taste half as good and pains felt twice worse if some unlucky circumstance took them part at the wrong moment. So now that one of them was in love, it was just logical that the other one felt betrayed, because it meant that, for the first time, another person had at least as much importance to James as Sirius had. If Sirius could only realize how hard it must be for James to see his happiness partly ruined by that constant complaints!

Remus drew slightly aside the right curtain of his four-poster bed and stretched out a hand toward the bedside table to take his watch. Not even nine o'clock yet. Much too early to get up on a Saturday morning...

He put the watch back on the bedside table and picked up the book he had started reading the night before.

Remus was so used to reading in the common room, always full of chatting people, that his friends' conversations wouldn't normally have bothered him at all. But this time, for some reason, he couldn't concentrate properly. He had to read again the first sentences of chapter 7, then some others a little lower on the page. No good! Half of his mind persisted in listening to Sirius and James, in spite of the other half's will to ignore their talking.

Of course, when Sirius had blamed James for letting his friends down for a girl, James had replied hotly that Lily wasn't just some girl. Then he had launched into a very long speech about how wonderful she was, and although the curtains stopped him from seeing Sirius's expression, Remus could easily picture it. Without any doubt, Sirius was rolling his eyes - just like he used to do, in first and second year, when Remus hadn't yet given up explaining why he enjoyed reading more than anything in the world.

"Prongs, you're sounding like one of my gran's ridiculous mushy books!"

"I am not! And how would you know, anyway? Have you read them?"

Remus muffled a giggle. His own grandmother liked "ridiculous mushy books," too. And he'd better remember never to tell Sirius or James that he had borrowed one from her once - only because he was bored and hadn't found anything else to read. Still, his friends would make fun of him forever if they knew!

"Of course I haven't!" Sirius was now replying to James. "Unless you count the parts I read aloud three years ago to let my mother and aunt know about Narcissa's passion for romantic and slightly erotic stories..."

They both burst out laughing, and Remus start reading again, smiling. He had dreaded that they might argue seriously, but now it seemed that all danger had passed.

A minute later, though, he wasn't so sure anymore. They were talking about Lily again, and just by the sound of Sirius's voice, Remus could tell that James would never succeed in making him listen to reason.

"It's not that I don't like her, it's just that I don't like you being with her all the time."

Actually, Sirius had told Remus and Peter he couldn't stand "that bloody girl," but he seemed to have enough good sense left to avoid repeating that in front of James.

"It feels like you're not talking to me anymore," Sirius complained without even giving James time to respond.

"Well, I'm talking to you now, aren't I?"

"Oh, yes - about _her_!"

Now Sirius was surely rolling his eyes again, then crossing his arms like a sulky little kid, and James was frowning, disconcerted and probably a little worried about what he surely considered an inexplicable overreaction. Remus couldn't have seen them better if the curtains had been transparent... He had never really thought about this before, but he did know these boys more than he had ever known anyone, including his parents. Was that normal? Would everyone be able to say with such certainty the way their friends would look when annoyed, puzzled, worried, anxious, furious, depressed, delighted…? Probably not...

Remus sighed. His mother might have been right, after all, the day when she had told him he was letting his friends take up too much space in his life. He had assumed that she was saying so because she was upset at the increasing lack of enthusiasm he showed every time he had to return home for the holidays, but suddenly he suspected that there was another reason. And, although he still didn't agree, he finally understood what was worrying her; he had laid all his trust and affection in these boys who had proved he could count on them, and now he was withdrawing into the reassuring shell of their friendship, refusing to even consider the possibility of letting someone else enter his little world...

Yes, that was, Remus guessed, the cause of his mother's concern. Three boys, no girl...so no chance for him to have a "normal" life someday, unless she could make him see the necessity of being a little more open to the people around. But why did she care that much?

"I don't need a girlfriend! I need my friends! Is that so difficult to understand?"

Sirius was only continuing his more and more animated conversation with James, who had just advised him to go out with some girl while he was with Lily, but his words had expressed Remus's thoughts so exactly that it was almost frightening.

Or maybe it was comforting, all things considered. At least Sirius would not try to convince him he should find himself a girlfriend, too. Not that James had said anything of that kind to him yet, but it was very likely to happen someday. As for Peter... Peter had always envied James, and this time he obviously would more than ever. So he would not understand Remus either.

Dating Lily Evans, the fantastic Head Girl with wonderful green eyes and beautiful dark red hair... Remus knew he should envy James, too. Maybe not as much as Peter did, but it would have been more normal than deciding he would never have a girlfriend, not only because of the secret she would be bound to discover sooner or later but also simply because he didn't feel like having one.

Or was that a lie? Remus stopped to think seriously about it for some moments and concluded that no, really, it wasn't a lie. He just couldn't imagine himself dating a girl, and now he wondered if Sirius could. It was quite a strange question to ask, since Sirius was so different from him – so good-looking and aware of it, so perfectly at ease in every circumstance and with no dark secret to hide. And yet he never seemed to notice all the girls who were so obviously longing for a date with him. He had taken a few girls out from time to time in the past two years, but only because James would fix up dates for him with the friends of his own girlfriends.

"Girls can look great and kissing them is nice, but how am I supposed to spend hours with one of them without getting bored since they can't talk about anything that interest me and vice versa?" he once had asked James.

And, judging by what he was saying now, he hadn't changed his mind since then.

"You see her every day. How can you still find anything to tell her? She doesn't even like Quidditch!"

"Actually, she does as long as I'm not bragging about my _extraordinary talent,"_ James corrected, emphasizing the last words in an amusing way – then he added, laughing, "So, yes, I usually avoid the argument."

Remus smiled. He really appreciated James's new attitude. It couldn't exactly be called modesty, of course, but there was a great improvement. Instead of insisting on his gifts, he had started making fun of his tendency to look too proud of himself, and Remus knew it was all thanks to Lily.

Sirius, however, didn't seem to care. And he certainly wasn't smiling when he commented, "Just like I thought – you can't even talk about what you like most!"

James sighed, and so did Remus, because he had always liked Lily and was now convinced that she and James were meant to be together, so he wished Sirius would show a little more comprehension.

"It doesn't matter what we're talking about," James tried to explain again. "It doesn't even matter if we're not saying anything for a while. Just being with her makes me happy. I know you can't understand now, but I'm sure you will, someday. Just wait until you find the right girl... You'll no longer wonder what to talk about and you'll want to be with her all the time, believe me!"

This time it was Sirius's turn to sigh. But his was a sigh of irritation, quickly followed by an outburst of anger.

"Will you ever understand that, since I've got no Lily Evans to make me forget about my best friends, the only person I want to be with is _you_?"

"Padf-" James began.

But the door of the dormitory slammed before he could say anything more, and Remus heard him giving another sigh.

"What happened?" asked a sleepy voice coming from the bed at the right of Remus's.

Peter was known for always sleeping so soundly that no noise could disturb him, so James, ignoring the question, remarked that he and the others should remember to try slamming the door next time their friend didn't hear the alarm clock – that's to say next Monday, in all probability.

He sounded amused, but Remus guessed he was only pretending to be, in the hope that Peter wouldn't insist to be told why Sirius had left the room with such an evident manifestation of bad mood.

Suddenly, Remus felt terribly indiscreet. He had overheard every word of the quarrel and never thought of letting the others know he was awake... Nothing of what they had said was a secret but still, he wasn't supposed to have heard...

_° ° °_

In the next few days, Remus remembered the conversation every time he saw Sirius glancing at James and Lily with an annoyed expression. And, inevitably, the echo of Sirius's words made him feel sad.

_The only person I want to be with is you..._

He knew it was stupid. Sirius hadn't meant to say he didn't care about his other friends. He did, it was undeniable. Remus could have doubted it in first year, when they hadn't known each other very well yet and when Sirius had regarded him as a rather boring model student who didn't know what having real fun meant, but not now - not after the Animagus transformations that had changed his life forever. That crazy idea had been Sirius's, and he certainly wouldn't have thought of that if he didn't care about Remus.

Even the new doubts caused by the Whomping Willow incident were now history. Remus had been very upset at first, of course, but then he had understood that Sirius had just talked without thinking one time too many. Snape had been so convincing in pretending he had just found out everything that, at the time, daring the annoying Slytherin to press the knot of the tree trunk and go have a look if he was brave enough didn't seem more harmful than a simple, ordinary mockery. So Remus had forgiven and forgotten, not even letting Sirius reach the end of his apologies.

Really, he had absolutely no reason to doubt Sirius's friendship again.

_They're like twins_, he repeated to himself for the hundredth time of the week. _It's normal that Sirius likes James more than me._

Yet it was a little hurtful... Which seemed rather illogical. After all, Sirius was not the only one who thought James was the best of the Marauders group. Lots of people did, beginning with Peter, who had been admiring him since their first flying lesson. Then an incalculable number of girls from first to seventh year – and some that had already left school, too. Even Lily Evans, who had claimed for years she couldn't stand him, was now under his charm...

Actually, Remus himself tended to think that James was the leader of the Marauders. They were all supposed to be equal, but in practice James and Sirius had kind of ascended on the other two, a little like older brothers, because Remus was the one they had to protect from the other students' curiosity and Peter the one they had to help with social skills, as well as homework. Obviously, both of them were natural leaders. However, James had more sense of organisation and capacity of reflection, which explained why Remus would pick him rather than Sirius if he were asked who would be more worthy of the title of "Head Marauder."

In short, James really was the best of them all, especially now that Lily had succeeded in curbing his oversized ego.

_And if you think Sirius should like you as much as he likes him,_ you_ are becoming pretentious!_ Remus admonished himself as a conclusion.

Then he sank more comfortably into the cushions of the couch and turned back to the book he still hadn't managed to finish reading. Too much homework... And too many distracting thoughts in his head.

It was late, so most of the Gryffindor students had already left the common room. Remus had stayed because he wanted to read another chapter, and Sirius, who had at first declared he would keep him company, had spent about twenty minutes walking up and down the fireside carpet before deciding he might as well wait for James in the dormitory.

Actually, he had never said clearly he was waiting for James, but Remus knew he was. A new idea for a prank had come into his mind earlier in the evening, and in spite of Peter's attempts to get Sirius to give details, he had refused to talk about it. Then, as the time went by, his irritation had become more and more obvious.

Remus was now alone and yet, once again, he couldn't concentrate on his book. He wished he could do something to prevent another quarrel, but he doubted that any intervention on his part would be useful

Too deep in his thoughts to notice that the portrait hole had been opened then closed silently, Remus was completely taken by surprise when an invisible hand coming from behind his back grabbed the book he was still holding in front of his eyes although he hadn't really looked at it for several minutes.

He surely jumped as high as his attacker was expecting him to do, but next second he had already turned round and taken the book back.

"Wow! Good reflexes, Moony! You could be a Seeker too!"

The invisibility cloak slid, revealing James's beaming face, as well as Lily's not-so-straight one.

"Sorry, Remus. I know I should have stopped him, but he didn't let me time to think," the red-haired girl said in a tone that didn't sounded any sorrier than her face looked.

"I just beckoned her to stay quiet and she obeyed!" James explained – and his eyes filled with malicious sparkles as he commented, "I wish Padfoot were as well-trained as she is!"

Remus laughed, but, of course, Lily didn't. Her indignant look reminded Remus of the pre-Halloween period, and he saw that James wondered whether he had gone too far.

"Don't you _ever_ dare talking about me that way again, Potter!" Lily scolded, apparently furious.

But then she laughed too and added, "I love to scare you!"

"I wasn't scared!" James protested, as shocked as if that accusation was the most offensive thing one could told him. "Only bewitched, because you look so beautiful when you're angry."

"Does that mean I'm ugly when I'm _not _angry?" Lily asked, frowning.

James rolled his eyes heavenwards, then closed them for an instant in an expression of feigned despair before turning to Remus, pretending to need help:

"I really thought she wasn't clever enough to get the hidden meaning of my compliment... What do you think? Reassuring lie or cruel truth?"

Although he was used to being involved more or less against his will in his friends' mutual teasing, Remus didn't expect James to ask for his opinion in a mock fight with Lily, and it made him quite ill at ease.

_What would Sirius say?_ he asked himself automatically. Then he realized it was stupid because, lately, Sirius's sense of humour seemed to vanish all at once as soon as Lily's name was mentioned.

"Why don't you tell her she's beautiful no matter what?" he suggested eventually, giving up the idea of being funny. "And you can make it more poetic, talking about how not only anger but every feeling of hers makes her eyes shine like emeralds catching sunlight or how the colour of her hair reminds you of the flames that are burning for her in your- What?"

Both Lily and James were staring at him, looking rather astonished, and Remus's embarrassment suddenly reached such a point that he guessed the flames he had just mentioned now seemed to be burning under the skin of his cheeks.

"Okay, it horribly lacks originality," he mumbled hastily, "but, you know, I'm not very good at talking to girls and..."

"You're surely way better than _he_ is!" Lily said with a gesture of her head in James's direction. "You heard him. He's awful!"

Not knowing her as well as he knew his friends, Remus first thought she might be serious. But then she smiled at James, who smiled back...and he felt completely out of place.

He was already on the second step of the staircase, on his way to retire discreetly so they could say goodnight in private, when James called him back.

"Wait! I've got to talk to you."

°  
° ° °

_Hope you liked this start. Next chapter in a week._

_P.S. I love comments and will reply to everyone..._


	2. Doubts and suspicions

**Canine Affinity**

_Disclaimer: _

_As you all know, Mrs J. K. Rowling is the highly talented author who __  
__created the characters I borrowed to write this. __  
__And since no one would be stupid enough to pay for this __  
__when I'm publishing it here, where anyone can read whatever they want for free, __  
__you're bound to have guessed I'm not making any money, aren't you ?_

_Thank yous:_

_To _**_Maggie,_** _who corrected my grammar mistakes and pointed out my awkward wordings._

_To _**_Arca, _**_who's so good at reviewing in a half-beta half-reader sort of way._

And to** you**, who read chapter 1 and were interested in it enough to read this one as well.

_Dedication: _

_To _**_Akari,_**_ my Italian friend, who wrote very good Sirius/Remus stories in Italian,__  
__available (as well as their French versions - made by me) __on her website __(see my profile for a link). _

_And to _**_Nicky_**_, my "near twin" sister, __who has always imagined with me lots of stories like this one._

°  
° ° °

**Chapter 2 – Doubts and suspicions**

Back on the couch, Remus reopened the book in order to pretend that he was concentrating on it instead of noticing that James was kissing Lily goodnight.

Why had James asked him to stay? If he had something to tell him, he could have done so in the dormitory... Unless he didn't want the others to hear, of course, but that would be very weird. As far as Remus knew, James had never hidden anything from Sirius and had no reason to do.

He looked up as Lily was climbing the stairs and saw that James hadn't taken his eyes from her yet. He was staring at the dark red hair with the same expression of adoration that he had worn in September, when he managed to take seats "with the best possible view on Evans" in classes and in the Great Hall.

Remus had to admit that the colour of Lily's hair was very nice – and so was the colour of her eyes. Actually, if someone had asked him who, in his opinion, was the prettiest girl in the school, her name would surely have been first to come into his mind. But he had never looked at her that way, and he couldn't tell whether it was only because he knew James liked her or if his _problem_ had something to do with that, too.

"You like her, don't you?" James asked suddenly, finally turning to his friend.

Remus's eyes widened in amazement.

"What?" he mumbled. "I don't... She's... You know I would never..."

James looked puzzled for a second, then he laughed.

"I meant 'You don't dislike her like Sirius does, do you?' " he clarified.

"Oh!" Remus exclaimed, feeling very stupid and hoping against hope that his embarrassment didn't show too much. "No. Of course not. I do like her. A lot. She's... Well, she's just the perfect girl for you."

"Sirius doesn't agree with you on that point," James sighed, dropping into the nearest armchair. "Tell me the truth. He hates her, doesn't he?"

Remus didn't answer immediately. What should he say? _Yes, your best friend hates your girlfriend and there's nothing you can do about that_?

"I...I think he's just jealous," he said eventually.

James nodded thoughtfully.

"That's what Lily thinks, too."

Remus was expecting him to add something, but he didn't, and two good minutes passed in a silence broken only by the crackling of the fire. James seemed deep in his thoughts and Remus wondered whether he should talk or not. He couldn't make up his mind, but James finally spared him the trouble of deciding.

"Have you ever noticed something strange about Sirius?" he asked.

In spite of his friend's tone of concern, Remus couldn't help smiling.

"You mean apart from the eccentricities we're used to?"

"Yes, apart from those," James confirmed (and, surprisingly, he didn't looked amused at all). "Do you think he could... I know it's stupid, but Lily thinks... See, he said something the other day that..."

Remus was about to remark he didn't understand anything and surely wouldn't be able to as long as all the sentences were left unfinished, when James finally found a way to make his point a little clearer.

"Do you think he likes girls?"

The question first left Remus speechless.

"Why wouldn't he?" he asked then, still unsure of what he was supposed to understand.

"Well, he could...like boys instead," James said hesitantly. "Not that I really believe he does, of course! I told Lily she was mad to think he could. But he did say something quite...ambiguous Saturday morning."

Remus frowned. Saturday morning? In that conversation he had overheard half-unwillingly? Nothing had seemed ambiguous to him, as far as he could remember...

"James...I...I heard you talking," he confessed. "I was trying to read but..."

James cut the apologies short.

"It's okay. I knew that only Peter could keep on sleeping after Sirius had started yelling. So, since you heard, you can tell me what you thought of that 'the only person I want to be with is you'..."

"Oh, _that_!"

Remus didn't find anything else to say for a little while.

_The only person I want to be with..._

Yes, of course, it could be taken like a kind of declaration. But that would be ridiculous.

Remus kept his head down to avoid meeting James's eyes. That conversation was one of the most embarrassing they had ever had. Maybe even worse than the one, in their second year, when James had just found out about the full moon nights... That time, at least, the suspicions were justified, and, although Remus had found it hard to believe at first, James had sworn he didn't mind.

"You know..." Remus began tentatively, still not looking at his friend. "When I said he was jealous I didn't mean...I didn't mean _that_!"

"Really?"

James looked sincerely surprised.

"I would never have imagined such a thing!" Remus exclaimed, shaking his head. "I was only talking about friendship. And you may have misunderstood Lily as well. She can't really think..."

"Oh, believe me, she does!" James insisted. "Or, at least, she thinks it's a possibility. I told her about the quarrel because I wondered whether her own friends had reproached her for spending too much time with me. I reported Sirius's words and... Well, first she laughed – and I know it was a joke when she said 'Bet he fancies you' – but then she thought for a while and she was perfectly serious when she added 'After all, it's not impossible'. That's when I told her she was mad. Then she started setting out a theory... I guess it was partly to mock me, because my incredulous look amused her, but...Moony, it _made sense_!"

"What did she say, exactly?" Remus asked, curious. "Is it all about that fit of jealousy?"

In his opinion, James and Sirius's fraternal kind of friendship was enough to justify that, but James nodded, confirming he considered that Sirius's behaviour had been very odd on that day.

"That, and the fact that he never seems to see the girls who are trying to catch his attention. He wouldn't even have to win a Quidditch match or to throw funny insults at Snape to impress them. I bet at least half of them would be disposed to do absolutely anything he would ask if only he would just deign to realize they exist..."

"He has dated some girls," Remus pointed out.

"Yes...because I've practically forced him to do it!" James replied. "And you know how much it _bothered_ him!"

There was despair in his voice, and he looked at Remus as if he was begging for help to sweep away the suspicions that assailed him.

Under other circumstances – if he hadn't felt so ill at ease – Remus would probably have found the situation highly comical. James sounded and looked nearly as panic-stricken as if he had just heard that his best friend might be a dangerous murderer. Which was really a bit much...

"Prongs... Do you realize you seem to be unable to accept the idea that Sirius could be...well, a little _different_...when you were so incredibly understanding about _me_?"

"About you?" James repeated, bewildered. "But you... You're not... Are you?"

Remus stared at him in disbelief. James must be even more perturbed as he thought if he didn't even understand that.

"James, I'm a _werewolf_!" Remus reminded his friend, insisting on the last word as much as he could while keeping his voice low, just in case.

The next second they were both laughing, and James agreed that considering homosexuality worse than lycanthropy would be quite silly.

"But he should have told me, then," he added after a short pause.

"Maybe..." Remus said, doubtful. "But it's not so easy."

"I know," James replied with a weak smile. "That's what I told him when he said you shouldn't have kept your secret hidden from us for so long. It's just... I thought I knew everything about him and he knows everything about me so it's a little...hurtful."

A little hurtful... Just what Remus had thought about those words he had taken like a proof that Sirius regarded him as much less of an important friend than James. Which had always been obvious, anyway. If she had known, Lily would surely have deduced Remus might fancy Sirius. And, since she would have been wrong in that case, why wouldn't she about Sirius?

"I think we should stop that conversation before we really start to talk nonsense," he said. "After all, we don't know anything. Even if it seemed to you that Lily's theory made sense, don't forget it's nothing more than that – a _theory_!"

James nodded silently, but, in spite of what he had said earlier, he no longer seemed convinced at all that Lily could be wrong.

"Sincerely, do you believe it?" Remus queried.

"I don't know," James confessed. "One moment I do, the next I don't. It depends on what I'm thinking of... Do _you_ believe it?"

Remus didn't hesitate.

"No," he said with conviction. "I won't believe it unless he told us."

"I suppose I shouldn't, either," James admitted, "but I can't help wondering. And I hate that uncertainty."

Remus couldn't find any good reply. He understood, of course. It was normal to have some doubts. Maybe he had them, too. But knowing didn't seem as important to him as it did to James, probably because he was much less concerned.

"Would you talk to him?" James asked suddenly, making Remus jump.

_Talking to Sirius? About _that

It was his turn to feel panic-stricken, now. And it must have shown, because James hastened to add, "Not directly. Just try to find out more about the reason he doesn't like Lily, at least at first. And then...well, improvise! You should be able to get some signs."

Remus let out a loud sigh. Following James's logic, the "mission" sounded almost easy, but in reality... How could he manage to do it?

"_You_ should talk to him," he said.

He knew it was useless, though. James had an unanswerable argument.

"I can't. If Lily's right, he wouldn't tell me. You could learn much more."

With another sigh, Remus promised he would try. But he still had no idea of how he was supposed to start such a conversation, and secretly he wished the opportunity would never come.

° ° °

Remus couldn't sleep. He did have at lot of doubts, after all. But the questions that were bothering him most weren't about Sirius – they were about himself.

At first, he had wondered what Sirius would think if he knew that James suspected him of being gay. It was hard to tell because, even for someone as observant as Remus Lupin, Sirius Black's reactions were almost always unpredictable. He could take it as an offence and start asking lots of girls out to prove he did find them attractive, or he could laugh...and decide to make a passionate declaration to James, just to see the look on his face.

These reflections made Remus realize that he wasn't even able to determine what might be his own reaction in such a situation. If Sirius sent James to investigate about a suspicion of the same kind... Would he laugh or get mad at them?

Then he remembered something that horrified him.

His mother! His mother was worried because he was too close to his friends... What did she think, exactly? Could she possibly imagine that... No, probably not. She had no reason to. Unlike Sirius, he had never said anything that could be defined ambiguous... Or so it seemed to him. But surely Sirius had no clue of what Lily and James were now imagining. So, what if something that had a perfectly innocent meaning to his own ear had been taken by his mother in a totally different way?

It was frightening. And even more frightening was another question that came suddenly into his mind.

_What if it were _true

It seemed quite a stupid question to asked to oneself, since, normally, it's something you're supposed to know. Or, at least, Remus thought that not noticing was impossible. But, on reflection, it wasn't that evident anymore. How do you know, if you have never loved anyone? Not even fancy any girl – or boy?

How do you know, if the only people you want to be with are your friends?

_Is that so abnormal?_

Remus felt completely lost. And his confusion reached its top when a particularly disturbing thought imposed on him: Sirius was not the only one to be jealous – in a friendly manner or in another. He definitely was, too. To be perfectly honest with himself, he had to admit it had been more than a little hurtful hearing his friend say that James was the _only_ person he wanted to be with, as if Remus didn't count at all. Would people consider that to be a _sign_?

Remus shook his head to brush the thought away. It was ridiculous! And yet...

Yet, he couldn't find any contrary sign that would prove the reason for his jealousy was strictly friendly. Of course, he had never regarded any of his friends as a person he would like to kiss or anything of that kind. But when he was sad or worried – or confused as he was right now – he often wished his brothers the Marauders were a little less "manly", so they would hold him, or just hold his hand, and he would feel better.

_Is that abnormal?_ he wondered again. _Am _I_ abnormal?_

Obviously, he was in the opinion of many of the other students. His gentle and reserved nature, as well as his passion for books and his lack of interest for Quidditch, that he liked only when James was playing, had always incurred him sarcastic remarks from boys like Severus Snape, who never missed an opportunity to mock a Marauder. But did they think that... Did they think _that_?

The question haunted him all night long.

°  
° ° °

_Next part in a week.  
In the meantime, I'll be very glad if you let me know you read this.  
I love all kinds of comments, short or long, and I reply to everyone.  
Oh, about that...  
__  
**If you don't have an account or weren't logged in when you reviewed chapter 1,  
I couldn't send you my reply, but you can find in my profile a link that will lead you to it.**_


	3. Childish game

**Canine Affinity**

_Disclaimer: _

_As you all know, Mrs J. K. Rowling is the highly talented author who __  
__created the characters I borrowed to write this story. __  
__And since no one would be stupid enough to pay for this __  
__when I'm publishing it here, where anyone can read whatever they want for free, __  
__you're bound to have guessed I'm not making any money with it, aren't you ?_

_Thank yous:_

_To _**_Maggie,_** _who corrected my grammar mistakes and pointed out my awkward wordings._

_To _**_Arca, _**_who's so good at reviewing in a half-beta half-reader sort of way._

And to** you**, who read the first chapters and were interested in them enough to read this one as well.

_Dedication: _

_To _**_Akari,_**_ my Italian friend, who wrote very good Sirius/Remus stories in Italian,__  
__available (as well as their French versions - made by me) __on her website __(see my profile for a link). _

_And to _**_Nicky_**_, my "near twin" sister, __who has always imagined with me lots of stories like this one  
(she's the one who gave me the idea of Sirius's "fit of jealousy",  
starting with the ambiguous sentence "the only person I want to be with is you")._

°  
° ° °

**Chapter 3 – Childish game**

After he had promised to James he would try to talk to Sirius about the "jealousy fit," Remus thought he couldn't possibly put himself in a more embarrassing situation. Now he knew he could. And it was James's fault again, in a way.

It was perfectly normal, of course, that James and Lily had made plans to see each other during the Christmas holidays. That, in consequence, Sirius had refused to spend these holidays at the Potters' house might be a little less normal, but certainly not surprising. And that Remus had asked him whether he would like to come to the Lupins' for a few days instead seemed quite logical, friendly...but so thoughtless!

_I should have let Peter invite him!_ Remus told himself for the umpteenth time as his mother welcomed Sirius to their home with the kind of joyful tone she assumed only when something was bothering or worrying her and she was doing her best not to show it.

It had been a matter of seconds. Peter was hesitating, surely because he thought that the place where he lived wasn't presentable enough to a person like Sirius, so used to luxury. Neither did Remus's family have a big house – and his parents weren't even both wizards – but he guessed that Sirius wouldn't care, so he hadn't dwelled on those details. And he had forgotten other details, much more important.

If his mother really had the suspicions he thought she might have, he should never have invited Sirius home. Especially without the others. And, speaking of that...why hadn't he even thought of inviting Peter as well? Mrs Pettigrew would certainly not have allowed his son to abandon her for a part of the holidays when she missed him so much while he was at school, but at least Remus should have asked, shouldn't he?

Mrs Lupin was still speaking abnormally fast, without letting the boys time to answer her questions.

"Unfortunately, we don't have a guest room – you warned him, Remus, didn't you? – so you'll have to sleep on the sofa, Sirius, but you can put your things in Remus's room in the meantime. I'll give you some blankets and a pillow this evening. Now, would you like some tea? Yes, I guess you need something to warm up. It's so cold outside! My husband will be there in a few minutes. You must have met him once or twice at King's Cross, Sirius, haven't you? Well, I'm going to make tea for all of us."

She disappeared in direction of the kitchen and Remus led his friend into his bedroom.

"Oh, books!" Sirius exclaimed with a little laugh as soon as they had crossed the door. "Why would I have bet you had a full-to-bursting bookcase?"

"What an intuition!" Remus replied in a tone of mocking admiration. "You shouldn't have dropped Divination!"

Sirius laughed again, louder. He was always laughing, anyway. Always in a good mood... Except when he disagreed about what James did, which happened quite often lately.

He put his bags in a corner of the room then turned to Remus to ask, "Didn't you tell me you had a folding camp bed and that I would sleep here?"

Remus had hoped that Sirius had forgotten that. He really didn't want to know why his mother had decided to make their guest sleep in the living room, and wanted even less to be forced into giving explanations about what he suspected was the reason.

"I suppose it's broken," he said. "Or maybe they lent it to someone. But the sofa is probably more comfortable, anyway. And you can sleep in my bed, if you prefer."

Of course, Remus meant he would leave the bed to Sirius, but to his great embarrassment, Sirius replied before he could make the sentence clearer by adding that he wouldn't mind spending the night on the sofa.

"I don't think it's wide enough for both of us. Plus, according to Prongs, I'm very annoying as a person to share a bed with."

Remus stared at him in shock.

"When did you..." he began.

He stopped there, sure that his face was completely red, and Sirius's exclamation, accompanied by another bark of laughter, reinforced that impression.

"Moony, what are you thinking?!"

"Nothing," Remus said hastily.

He knew it was ridiculous but, for an instant, he had wondered what had happened between his two friends during the first part of the holidays. When he had left them on Platform 9 and ¾ four days before, James was still trying to talk Sirius into coming to his place before going to Remus's, so he could have succeeded and then, if it had turned out that Sirius's jealousy was _not_ exclusively friendly... But no, of course, Remus didn't _really_ think it was possible. It shouldn't even have come into his mind.

"I've always slept in James's bed rather than in the guest room because we like to chat until we fall asleep," Sirius clarified, looking highly amused at the thought of what Remus had imagined. "We were 11 the first time I went there, and then we kept up the habit without even thinking someone could have strange ideas about it... Honestly, Moony, I didn't know you had such a twisted mind!"

The sound of the entrance door being opened announced Mr Lupin's return, saving Remus the trouble of searching for something to say that would justify his blushing in another way. But as they were leaving the room to join his parents and have tea with them, he couldn't help thinking he would like to have a wider bed, so he could chat with Sirius until they fell asleep, just like James did.

° ° °

The next morning, Sirius entered Remus's room like a hurricane at what seemed to be the middle of the night and drew the curtains open at once with a simple wave of wand.

"Look, Moony, it's snowing!" he exclaimed enthusiastically.

If he had been in his dog form, he would surely have shaken his tail frenetically.

"What time is it?" Remus mumbled in a sleepy voice.

"Don't know exactly...but who cares? Your parents just went out for work. They accidentally woke me up when they came across the living room."

"I knew I should have insisted on taking the sofa!" Remus moaned, turning over to avoid the light of the street lamp that was falling right into his eyes. "Can't you sleep a little more? It's not even daylight yet!"

Sirius let out a loud sigh.

"Good Merlin! You're worse than James, you know? At least _he_ likes snow..."

"I do like snow, Padfoot," Remus corrected. "What I don't like is being taken out of bed at the crack of dawn – or even _before_ dawn – for no reason at all."

Once again, the comparison had hurt him. Then, since he was already in a bad mood from the brutal awakening, he had to summon all his patience and gentleness to refrain from harshly telling Sirius he still could go to James's place if he wasn't pleased.

Fortunately, Sirius knew his friend well enough to see when it was time to stop. He couldn't guess everything, but he found an explanation that was probably partly right.

"Okay, you're not in the mood for snow... Are you in pre-full moon syndrome already?"

Remus surfaced from under his blankets to cast Sirius a dark look.

"Don't call it _that_!" he protested. "You make it sound like a girl thing!"

If Sirius had really decided to avoid all mockery, his resolution burst like a soap bubble as soon as he heard the words "girl thing." And, sure enough, his bark-like laughter echoed more loudly than ever.

Remus cursed himself for not thinking before he spoke. Now Sirius would be quite sure to repeat that every month...

Then he curled up again, trying to pretend he hadn't said anything and that Sirius wasn't even there.

"Are you really mad at me?" Sirius asked, after a rather long silence, in the tone he would have used to talk to a very young child.

Remus didn't answer.

"I know you're not sleeping!" Sirius insisted. "But it's okay. I'll go and prepare breakfast for both of us, so you'll forgi–"

"No!"

Remus had sat up in a flash, one arm outstretched with the hand raised in a gesture that clearly said, "stop." Even not well awake, he couldn't ignore that the combination of the elements "Sirius Black" and "kitchen" implied significant risks of a big explosion. Especially if the kitchen contained some Muggle household appliances...

"I knew it would work!"

Remus, of course, had expected anything but a triumphant exclamation of that kind. However, knowing his friend so well, it didn't take him more than half a second to understand.

"You mean..."

Sirius nodded with a wide smile and Remus sighed, letting himself fall back onto his pillow. He should have suspected something like this.

"You're such a..." he began.

"A Marauder?" Sirius suggested calmly while sitting down at the end of the bed.

"Actually, I was thinking of something less polite," Remus confessed. "But yes, let's say you're the perfect Marauder, always up to no good."

The wide smile reappeared.

"That's the way you love me, isn't it?"

That line left Remus speechless. He knew it didn't mean what it seemed to mean, but...really, he could thank Heavens that his mother wasn't there to hear that!

"What? Don't you like me?" Sirius asked with his best imitation of an innocent look. "Am I not your friend?"

"Oh, of course you are! Sometimes I wonder why but yes, you are my friend... You _know_ you are."

"Your _best_ friend?" Sirius insisted childishly.

Remus stared at him for an instant before replying by another question:

"Why do you ask that? I'm not yours, after all..."

Sirius shrugged.

"Well, you're my second best friend," he said. "And my temporary best friend, now... Actually, if James persists in spending all his time with Evans after the holidays, you might become my best friend for good."

Remus wondered how he was supposed to take that. He was pleased to know that Sirius regarded him as worthy of the "title" of best friend but, on the other hand, it would still be a second choice...

"Sirius...you know I would never be able to take James's place," he said very seriously, "and you know you would never give it to me."

"He would deserve it, though," Sirius muttered in a barely audible voice.

All traces of his smile had vanished. He tried to look angry but it was pretty obvious that, in reality, he was only sad.

Remus suddenly felt like holding him to comfort him like a little boy. But, of course, he didn't.

"Don't worry, he still likes you," he said instead.

Then he got up.

"Let's see if we can manage to have breakfast without blowing up the house," he added. "And then, if we get out of the kitchen alive, some big black dog will be allowed to go and play in the snow..."

° ° °

Every year since the age of twelve or thirteen, Remus thought he was becoming too old to actually play in the snow, that he would feel ridiculous and so on. Then James and Sirius would start a snow ball fight, Peter would hasten to help James, and Sirius would "beg" Remus to come and balance the forces. Which he always did. He just couldn't say no to Sirius.

This time was different, though. There were only the two of them, and Sirius seemed to feel nearly as undecided as Remus was when they stepped over the threshold of the house and found themselves surrounded by a cloud of snowflakes dancing in the wind. He was probably thinking that throwing a snow ball to someone who could get angry at any time because if his "pre-full moon syndrome" might not be a very good idea. Or maybe he simply wondered what kind of fun he could have in the company of only a boy as serious as Remus Lupin.

Remus glanced at his friend, slightly worried. He wished he could distract Sirius from his jealousy, but it seemed very hard to do.

"What did you do when you were younger?" Sirius asked suddenly. "When it snowed, I mean. Did you have a sledge? Or is there a lake you can skate on somewhere near here? I had never really realised it before, but I know lots of things about James and some about Peter, too, but you... You never told us _anything_!"

"That's not true. You three know more about me than anyone else does," Remus replied automatically.

But, on second thought, he had to admit Sirius was right. He had never shared his childhood memories with his friends. Not because he hadn't wanted to, but only because he liked listening to them better than talking himself. Did they think he had been secretive on purpose?

"You didn't answer my questions," Sirius reminded him after a silence as they were walking on the entrance path. "And can I know where we're going to?"

"To my favourite playground," Remus answered with a smile while opening the barrier. "So you'll get your answers, curious little dog!"

° ° °

The "playground" was a large meadow, the best part of which was on a slope. They went down, slipping more than once on the grass entirely covered by a white mantel they were first to set foot on, until they reached a little water hole that Remus and his Muggle cousins had used as a skating rink every winter of their childhood.

Sirius took a look around and smiled.

"Nobody can see us, can they?"

"No... There's no house near enough and the children who come here to play surely don't get up this early," Remus said with a slight note of regret for the comfortable bed Sirius had taken him out of.

Then he frowned.

"Why?" he asked quite sharply, suddenly worried. Not about the people that might arrive – there really were very few chances for that to happen – but about Sirius... What had crossed his unpredictable friend's mind this time?

Sirius didn't answer - he didn't need to, anyway. As soon as Remus had confirmed that they were completely alone, he changed into Padfoot and started leaping about in the snow, barking and trying to catch the flakes with his mouth.

"Padfoot!" Remus called in the same tone he would have used for a real dog when Sirius reached the top of the slope, disappearing from his sight. "Come back! Now!"

He didn't really expect to be obeyed, and yet, just a few seconds later, he saw the black dog running towards him, tail sawing the air in sign of cheerfulness. But the false animal didn't stop at Remus's feet; instead, he took a sudden jump and knocked the boy over. Then he turned into his human form again...and Remus, who was trying to free himself from the dog, froze in shock when he realised he had now _Sirius_ on top of him – a laughing Sirius who wasn't showing any intention of moving away.

Strange, highly embarrassing thoughts came into Remus's mind all at once, but he chased them away in a flash and pushed his friend aside more violently than he would have in normal circumstances.

"Did I hurt you?" Sirius asked, puzzled by what he surely considered a very odd reaction.

Remus shook his head, as much to answer the question as to silence the part of him that was thinking he should have kept Sirius close to him for as long as he could, holding him tight to feel his body heat and get some human warmth, too.

"So what's wrong? Are you mad at me again?"

Having eventually succeeded in putting himself together – more or less – Remus managed to stop his voice from shaking to reply.

"Not really... Don't know why, because I really should be, but no, it's okay."

Sirius still looked quite doubtful, but he didn't insist. He was on his knees, about to get up, when Remus gave in the temptation of getting even with him.

"I'm not angry, but you do deserve to pay for the snow in my hair and for my drenched clothes!" he exclaimed, while throwing himself on his now astonished-looking friend.

They rolled over on the ground again, both laughing this time. At some point, Remus's usual reasonable mind get over it, making him think they must look like kids – or even like a puppy and a wolf cub, but absolutely not like two seventeen years old Hogwarts students in their NEWTs year. Then Sirius took advantage of that hesitation to launch a new attack, and Remus decided to forget about his dignity of legally adult wizard to let his childish - or animal - self reverse the situation once again.

°  
° ° °

_I know snow is cliché but it's so nice I couldn't resist. Hope you don't mind.  
Some clichés are just too good to be avoided, in my opinion. _

Now... I'll be at my sister's until after New Year.  
This means I won't be able to answer your reviews as quickly as I did the other times.  
But I will_ reply before the end of the week, and chapter 4 will arrive in good time,  
that's to say next Saturday (or let's say Sunday to have a "safety margin")._


	4. Showing affection

**Canine Affinity **

_New chapter today because I'm not sure I'll have time to post it tomorrow...  
_

_Disclaimer: _

_As you all know, Mrs J. K. Rowling is the highly talented author who  
created the characters I borrowed to write this story.  
And since no one would be stupid enough to pay for this  
when I'm publishing it here, where anyone can read whatever they want for free,  
you're bound to have guessed I'm not making any money with it, aren't you ? _

_Thank yous: _

_To **Maggie,** who corrected my grammar mistakes and pointed out my awkward wordings. _

_To **Arca, **who's so good at reviewing in a half-beta half-reader sort of way. _

_And to** you**, who read the first chapters and were interested in them enough to read this one as well._

_Dedication: _

_To **Akari,** my Italian friend, who wrote very good Sirius/Remus stories in Italian,  
available (as well as their French versions - made by me) on her website (see my profile for a link). _

_And to **Nicky**, my "near twin" sister,who has always imagined with me lots of stories like this one  
(she's the one who gave me the idea of Sirius's "fit of jealousy",  
starting with the ambiguous sentence "the only person I want to be with is you"). _

_°  
° ° °_

**Chapter 4 – Showing affection**

They turned back to the Lupins' house, soaked to the skin and exhausted, but so happy that Remus couldn't remember the last time he had felt so good. Sirius himself was tired enough to agree on spending the rest of the day doing what he called "nothing" – that's to say reading Muggle comics half-sitting, half-lounging on the carpet by the fireside, then playing a Muggle board game. All that, at least, had the attraction of the novelty for him.

They were starting their third game of the afternoon when Mr and Mrs Lupin came back from work. The boys hadn't realised it was already so late. Time seemed to have flown, and Remus was pleased to see that Sirius had forgotten about James and their disagreements, at least as much as he needed to in order to simply have a nice day.

The next morning, Sirius let Remus sleep a little later – "just in case the pre-full moon syndrome had increased," he explained then – and after breakfast, they went to the meadow again, bringing a sledge that Remus hadn't taken out of the garden shed in ages.

Of course, Sirius wasn't satisfied with using it in the Muggle way; not only did he put a spell on it so it would climb up the slope by itself, saving him the bother of dragging it, but he also managed to make it fly while he was on it...and then did the same as a joke to Remus, who got his revenge some minutes later with another spell, stopping Sirius in the middle of a descent and making him come up backwards.

They also skated - or pretended to do - on the water hole, but quickly found out that the sheet of ice was a little too thin to support both their weights for a very long time... So they were soaked again when they made their way back to the house to have a late lunch in the early hours of the afternoon. Sirius even confessed he was pleasantly surprised to see he could have as much fun with Remus as he usually had with James and, of course, Remus was very glad to hear that, although he pretended to be indignant that Sirius had thought for years he wasn't able to enjoy himself properly.

° ° °

Christmas Eve fell on a Saturday, so both Remus' parents were home. The two boys first helped Mr Lupin take all the decorations down from the attic. Then they got up on chairs to put the garlands and balls on the tree, and they had a big fit of giggles when Sirius, singing along with a record of carols, almost lost his balance in the middle of a chorus because he was doing a large gesture, eyes half-closed, to give himself an inspired look that made Remus laugh.

Mr Lupin was dealing with the outside decorations while his wife prepared the supper. They had decided to celebrate Christmas that evening "in advance like French people do" because of the moon that would be precisely full the night after... Remus couldn't help feeling sorry about that, although it really wasn't his fault at all.

It was late when he went to bed, after having sent owls with presents for Peter and James, but he just couldn't sleep. Every approaching full moon made him nervous, and it was ten times worse when he was at home for the holidays.

He tossed and turned in his bed for an hour, then decided to go and make himself a mug of hot chocolate. Hopefully it would help...

"Moony?"

Remus stopped short in front of the living room's door. He couldn't possibly have awoken Sirius. He had been creeping along cautiously, in order to avoid disturbing him.

"Aren't you sleeping?" he asked, sticking his head through the doorway.

"You're not, either," Sirius pointed out.

He was sitting by the window, on one of the sofa's arms, looking at the snow that had started falling again during the evening.

"It's different," Remus said, going in to sit down in an armchair in front of the sofa. "I..."

"I know," Sirius replied before he made his mind up to explain. "And, in a way, that's also why I'm still awake. I was thinking... We should have stayed at Hogwarts... I mean, when you're here, you're _alone_ on full moon nights!"

Remus sighed. Of course, he knew that much too well...

"It must be just as horrible as it was before, without me, Prongs, and Wormtail. Isn't it?" Sirius added in a low, hesitant voice.

Remus wasn't looking at him – actually, he was just staring at the moonlight that crossed the carpet between them – but he could tell Sirius was sincerely worried and sorry not to be allowed to stay. It didn't change anything, but it still was comforting to know that someone cared.

Not trusting himself to speak with the detachment he wished he could show, Remus merely nodded in answer.

Then he looked up, surprised. Sirius had stretched out a hand to put it on his own, probably without thinking because he drew it back rather hastily when he caught the disconcerted expression on Remus' face.

"Sorry," Sirius muttered with a little, embarrassed laugh. "I... Well, your mother's always doing that and...I guess her habit rubbed off on me!"

Remus smiled, sincerely amused. He was so used to his mother holding his hand that way that he barely noticed it the best part of the time. Coming from Sirius, of course, it had a completely different meaning to him. It was weird...and nice. But he mustn't dwell on that point. Given the circumstances, he found it particularly hard to silence his longing for comfort.

Sirius surely understood that – partly, at least. He got up slowly, still looking concerned, and went closer to the armchair in which Remus was sitting. He seemed to hesitate for one or two seconds, then suddenly turned into Padfoot, who put his forelegs and head on Remus' knees.

Remus knew he shouldn't let him. After all, no dog was supposed to be there... What would happen if his parents saw it? But he would hear them coming, wouldn't he? So he decided that the risks were insignificant enough to be ignored, and he leaned over to put his arms around the dog's neck, holding him close as he did with his soft toys when he was a child. Actually, that was exactly what he would have liked to do with the "real" Sirius, but couldn't because...well, it simply wasn't done! Girls can cuddle each other as much as they want and nobody thinks it's weird, but boys... No, boys can't. Never. Unless one of them is able to get round the unspoken rule by turning into a dog...

In spite of his low spirit, the oddness of that thought was enough to make him giggle, and Sirius-Padfoot gently freed himself from his embrace to stare at him with a typically human expression of puzzlement in his doggy eyes.

"Don't worry, Padfoot, I'm not suddenly going insane," Remus said, patting the head of the dog. Then he explained what he had thought and how funny it had seemed, on reflection.

Since he couldn't answer while staying in his animal form, Sirius transformed back, finding himself sitting on the floor at Remus' feet.

"You know how good I am at getting round the rules!" he replied with a wink, tucking his legs to sit on his heels. "But I'm not sure to like the way you set things out. It sounds like you were accusing me of being too uptight to show any king of affection without hiding under the appearance of Padfoot."

"Well... Isn't it true?" Remus asked, openly surprised.

Sirius shook his head.

"Not really. I do that for you, mostly. I don't really care about convention - you should know that! - but since you don't like to be touched..."

Remus remained speechless for a while. What on earth had made Sirius think that? Well, of course, he wouldn't have let anyone but his friends get too close to him...but _Sirius_!

"Don't you remember, in first year, when I grabbed your arm to get your attention? You gave a start and looked at me in a way that told very clearly what you were too polite to say out loud - 'Keep your hands away from me!' or something of that kind. I suppose I shouldn't even have been surprised, since you're so...distant. I've tried to keep that in mind since then, even if I probably forgot lots of times."

Remus stared at his friend, not even knowing if he felt like laughing or crying. First year... Oh yes, he remembered! But it wasn't what Sirius thought...

"Sirius... I couldn't tell you at the time but, you see, it was the day after full moon and my whole body was still aching, so..."

"Oh!"

Sirius looked horrified, now, and as sorry as if he had just hurt Remus again.

He got up on his knees then on his feet, took a step forward and settled down on the elbow rest of the armchair, with one arm leaned on the back.

Remus looked up to meet his eyes.

"You might be a little uptight, after all," he said jokingly. "Otherwise, you would come closer!"

Sirius gave him his best "up to no good" smile.

"Oh, if that's what you want..." he replied.

And he let himself slide into the armchair – or, more exactly, on his friend's knees.

"You're crutching me, you idiot!" Remus protested, laughing.

But he didn't pushed him away. After all, it was not like if he really wanted Sirius to turn back to the armrest...

"You were asking for it!"

"I needed some kind of _comfort_," Remus reminded him. "This looks more like an act of aggression!"

"Oh, what an exaggeration!" Sirius jested. "But I have to admit that since you're the one who's supposed to be comforted, _you_ should be on my knees."

The situation was becoming completely ridiculous. Remus decided it was time to stop it.

"What about a compromise? If you let me move aside, there should be just enough space for you next to me."

'Just enough space' was rather optimistic. In reality, they had to squeeze up to fit in the armchair side by side. But at least neither of them was on the other's knees anymore, which was a great improvement in the opinion of Remus' rational part of mind.

"Okay," Sirius said. "Now let's talk seriously."

Remus blinked in a perfect imitation of puzzlement. "You must be very tired..." he commented. "I didn't even know you were able to do that."

"I can do anything," Sirius maintained in a tone of voice that reminded terribly of James in his worse moments of arrogance. Which he was perfectly aware of, since he added, "Including acting like James, you see? So I can act like you, too, if I want to. But, really, I'm serious."

Remus couldn't help teasing him a little more.

"I know that," he said with an amused smile. "Sirius Black... Nice name, by the way! Always liked it."

Sirius sighed like he was very annoyed, but Remus knew he was only pretending.

"I don't like it at all - Black, I mean. You know how I hate that name!"

"And yet it suits you quite well, now that you're a _black_ dog," Remus pointed out.

Sirius looked surprised. Apparently, he had never thought about that. In his mind, the name must be tied too tightly to his family to mean anything else than "a bunch of short-minded Purebloods."

"Oh, if you see it that way, I guess it's not so bad," he agreed. "And speaking of black dog... Do you think we could tell your parents? So I could stay and..."

"No!"

Remus had replied instinctively and with a vehemence that surprised even himself, but he didn't change his mind after having taken time to think. "They wouldn't tell the ministry you're an illegal Animagus, of course, but what if they tell Professor Dumbledore? Sirius, _you let me out of the Shrieking Shack_! You know it's dangerous; he would think it's unacceptable. So not only would we be in trouble, but you would never be able to help me anymore."

Sirius was forced to bow to the argument...but he proved again he was good at turning round the rules by suggesting another solution.

"Then I'll come back when you're already in the cage. I'll Apparate directly in the cellar as soon as the sun is set, and then I'll Disapparate in the morning before they come and take you out of there. They won't know, and you won't be alone."

Again, Remus stared at his friend for some seconds without saying a word. He had absolutely not thought of that possibility – actually, he had even forgotten that Sirius had passed his Apparition test during the Summer holidays. At least five different objections came into his mind at the same time. But, for once, he decided not to listen to reason. He needed Sirius, and Sirius wanted to be there for him. So he smiled and said, "You were right... You _can_ do anything!"

°  
° ° °

_Still not too horribly cliché?_ _;o) _

_Chapter 5 in a week, and before that replies to your reviews,  
but I can't say when exactly because I'm not even sure of my sister's days off for next week  
(and since I'm at her place, the computer is not mine, so I can't use it whenever I want)._

_Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates it and  
to those of you who celebrate something else, happy (insert your holiday name here).  
Oh, and if you don't celebrate anything, just have a nice week. :o)_

_See you all soon!_


	5. Experimentation

**Canine Affinity**

_Disclaimer: _

_As you all know, Mrs J. K. Rowling is the highly talented author who __  
__created the characters I borrowed to write this story. __  
__And since no one would be stupid enough to pay for this __  
__when I'm publishing it here, where anyone can read whatever they want for free, __  
__you're bound to have guessed I'm not making any money with it, aren't you ?_

_Thank yous:_

_To _**_Maggie,_** _who corrected my grammar mistakes and pointed out my awkward wordings._

_To _**_Arca, _**_who's so good at reviewing in a half-beta half-reader sort of way._

And to** you**, who read the first chapters and were interested in them enough to read this one as well.

_Dedication: _

_To _**_Akari,_**_ my Italian friend, who wrote very good Sirius/Remus stories in Italian,__  
__available (as well as their French versions - made by me) __on her website __(see my profile for a link). _

_And to _**_Nicky_**_, my "near twin" sister, __who has always imagined with me lots of stories like this one  
(she's the one who gave me the idea of Sirius'ss "fit of jealousy",  
starting with the ambiguous sentence "the only person I want to be with is you")._

°  
° ° °

**Chapter 5 – Experimentation**

_The wolf howls. He's alone and furious to be locked in that cage, without anything to bite – not even a chair leg, a cushion, or another piece of furniture. He hates being there even more than in the_ other place_. He knows that no one will let him out of the cage. He knows he's stuck there for the whole night._

_The wolf goes round and round in that so cramped room, growing more and more furious. He howls again and he's about to bite himself in the absence of something better when he realizes he's not alone anymore; a boy has just popped out of nowhere. A boy with dark hair and bright, blue-grey eyes that watch the wolf with an expression of concern._

_Something in the very back of the wolf's mind tells him he knows who the boy is, how he's called, why he's there and why other people aren't. Why he calls him "Moony" and looks upset, too. That "something" even tries to convince the wolf he likes the boy and wouldn't want to hurt him for anything in the world. But the voice of reason is so weak it can't make itself heard. The animal instinct drowns it under a wave of fury, and the wolf throws himself against the bars of the cage, growling._

_The boy is just out of reach. And, although he doesn't show any sign of fear, he surely is not stupid enough to come closer. The wolf's amber-coloured eyes flash with anger and frustration. How he'd like to tear that terrible temptation to shreds! The vague human conscience that's always bothering him seems particularly horrified at this thought, but the wolf doesn't care. He wants to kill that boy who, surely, has come to flout him. If only he were just a little closer..._

_The wolf suddenly stops shaking the bars. He doesn't growl or howl anymore, either. He keeps quiet and still, staring at the big, black dog in front of him. He knows that dog, and this time it's not the "voice of reason" that tells him so. That dog is the one who usually helps him escape from the _other place_. He's his friend. And, since he's there, everything will be all right._

_The dog moves forward. He's just on the other side of the bars now. He makes a short, reassuring sound that the wolf understands, of course – after all, wolves and dogs are cousins in the animal world. Actually, there's been a kind of spiritual link between them from the start. The wolf likes his other friends – the stag and the rat – as well, but he can't communicate with them as he does with the dog. Sometimes it seems that the two canine minds are connected. They can't really talk like human beings do, but they understand each other with one look, one sound, or one sign, and the wolf likes that. Even the strange non-animal part of him likes that. And he knows the dog does, too. Including his own non-animal part._

_The wolf slips his muzzle between two bars and the dog puts his close by._

_Undeniably, the dog's presence is the best thing that has ever happened to the wolf._

° ° °

"Sirius?" Remus muttered, still half-asleep.

Then his eyes focused on his mother's face, and he held back just in time a little cry of shock when he realized what he had just said.

He immediately put on a neutral expression, but inside, he felt almost terrified.

What would he tell his mother if she asked why he seemed to expect Sirius to be there? Or worse, if she had caught the panic that surely had shown in his eyes for a fraction of second before he managed to hide it? What could he say if she questioned him?

Fortunately, she merely wondered whether she had woken him up - and said she was sorry even before he had time to answer. Then she offered to bring him something to eat.

Remus didn't really felt like eating, but he accepted just to spare himself another "you need to regain strength" lecture. He wouldn't be forced to eat immediately, anyway.

Now there was another problem: he needed an excuse to explain the absence of the usual scratches and bite marks on his body. He should have told Sirius to come a little later...

Thinking of that was enough to bring back to his mind an image of his dream – or could it be a real memory? Padfoot-the-dog and Moony-the-wolf, each on one side of the bars, rubbing their muzzles in a kind of cuddle that their human selves would never imitate... The thought of Sirius's cheek touching his like that was simply inconceivable. Practically indecent.

_Even girls don't do that_, Remus thought, doing his best to brush away the confusing feeling that was threatening to overcome him. Really, he had no reason to wish that could happen! And even less to think it would be so sweet.

Remus was so busy reasoning with himself and then wondering what Sirius would think if he knew that he didn't notice the ringing of the doorbell, and he didn't pay any more attention to the voices that were coming from the living room...until one of them rose clearly in the corridor, immediately drawing him out of his thoughts.

"No, no, thank you. I've just had lunch. I don't need anything."

Remus sat up in a start.

Sirius! Sirius had come back! And, according to the clinking of crockery followed by a swearword that would have cost some points to Gryffindor if Professor McGonagall had been there to hear it, he had taken the charge of the tray that Mrs Lupin had prepared for her son...but now he couldn't figure out how to open the door without knocking everything down.

"Need some help?" Remus asked in a highly amused tone.

The only answer he received was an undefined grumble he decided to take as a "yes". A wave of the wand solved the problem, and Sirius came in, slowly in order to avoid spilling the contents of a glass that, Remus thought, was dangerously close to the border of the tray.

"Don't laugh, Moony, or I might stumble very unfortunately just before putting this down on your knees!"

Remus laughed all the same.

"Put it on the bedside table, then. It will be safer!"

Rather surprisingly, Sirius did as his friend had told him. Then he sat down at the edge of the bed, smiling.

"Your mother said you looked much better than usual..."

Remus's heart missed a beat.

"What did _you_ say?" he asked eagerly.

"Don't worry, Moony!" Sirius replied, looking so proud of himself that Remus worried even more. "I gave her the first explanation that came into my mind – that you had found a way to keep a little control on yourself... After all, it's true. I only omitted to specify you needed me to be there for that..."

Remus had to admit he wouldn't have been able to find anything better, even with lots of time to think. Now he would probably have to devise convincing details about a concentration technique and the power of his will to fight the wolf's instincts, but at least Sirius's ability to come up with perfectly natural-sounding explanations to any question he was asked had spare him the trouble of making his own mind up. Otherwise, his reluctance to lie would probably have led him to pretend he didn't know what had happened, which wasn't a very good way to divert his parents' possible suspicions.

"That'll do, I suppose," he said calmly.

Then, after a short pause, he added in a very low voice, "I wish it were true."

Sirius stared at him, head leaned to one side, looking concerned and a little perplexed at the same time.

"You mean without my help or the others'?"

Remus nodded silently.

"But..." Sirius began.

"I know I can count on you, that's not the problem," Remus cut short. "It's just... Even in dog form, you're still yourself, aren't you?"

Sirius seemed to ponder his reply for a while.

"Yes, nearly... More than you, of course. I see the world rather differently and I don't think exactly as I do normally but yes, I'm still _me_."

"You know what you're doing and you can remember it afterwards," Remus resumed.

He was looking down, so he couldn't see Sirius's face, but he knew by the tone of his voice that it must be at least as puzzled as sympathetic.

"Don't you remember _anything_?"

Remus shook his head to indicate he didn't...then he realized it might not be true.

"Actually, I'm not sure. Sometimes I dream of things that could have been real. Maybe they are. Maybe I think they're dreams just because they're in my mind when I wake up... What happened last night?" he asked tentatively.

Sirius looked surprised again.

"Practically nothing," he said, shrugging. "You know I couldn't let you out."

"But what did I do when you arrived?" Remus insisted.

Knowing suddenly seemed extremely important to him, even though he had no idea of the reason why this was so.

"Well, I hadn't transformed yet, of course – I wonder whether it's possible to Apparate in Animagus form, by the way – so you...er...growled and shook the bars of the cage. But you calmed down immediately when you saw Padfoot."

Sirius was clearly trying to speak in a detached tone, but his hesitation, as short as it had been, was enough to make Remus guess he felt quite uncomfortable. Truth was that it mustn't be very easy to tell a friend, "you wanted to bite me."

"I couldn't reach you and it made me furious," Remus murmured more to himself than to Sirius.

He suddenly recalled his "dream" so well he feared for an instant he would give in to the impulse of throwing himself on Sirius right now. Of course it wouldn't do any harm, but losing control up to that point would be extremely embarrassing. And frightening.

Remus closed his eyes, shivering. Maybe it was better not remembering, after all.

"Are you okay?" Sirius inquired in a worried voice.

Remus didn't answer. He knew it was obvious he wasn't all right, but he didn't want to explain the reason why. He couldn't tell Sirius about those bestial thoughts that crossed his mind sometimes. And he couldn't tell him, either, how much his wolf self had wished he could kill him that night.

The next second, he let out an exclamation of horror as it occurred to him that a simple mistake could have lead to a disaster.

"What? Moony?"

Sirius had come closer and was trying to meet his friend's eyes. His worry showed, but it was nothing compared to the retrospective fear that was gripping Remus's heart.

"Do you realize you could have Apparated _inside_ the cage?" he cried, eventually looking up.

Sirius froze for a second then shook his head slowly.

"Don't think about that, Moony," he said in the kind of reassuring tone that adults use to talk to children who are afraid of the dark. "I knew were I was going. And I could have transformed immediately, anyway. You couldn't possibly hurt me."

Remus had suddenly become terribly aware of their closeness. It was a strange feeling, that impression that the air between them was charged with electricity - or with magic waves, maybe - and that the slightest physical contact would be dangerous. In a way. In another way, it would be...

"Are you listening to me?"

Sirius had his half-concerned, half-perplexed look again, with the head leaned to one side. This time, the thought that crossed Remus's mind certainly didn't come from an instinct of wild beast, but it was almost worse. _In a way._

It would be so easy... He would only have to move his head forward – merely two inches – and...

"Moony?"

What did that amused smile that Sirius was now displaying mean, exactly?

"Oh, sorry!" Remus muttered, moving backward as much as he could – but the headboard quickly stopped him. "I was..."

"...looking like a girl!" Sirius finished at his place with one of his famous bark of laughter. "They always look like that when they hope I'll kiss them."

Remus stared at him in shock. He would never have thought it could appear so clear. He looked down again, shameful. But, somewhere under the great amount of embarrassment caused by Sirius's remark, he also felt some kind of admiration for the casualness his friend had shown even while accusing a boy of looking at him in the same way girls did. It was amazing.

"I'm not a girl," he replied eventually, awfully conscious of failing in assuming the same kind of tone. "Why on Earth would I want you to..."

He didn't utter the last words, but it was useless, of course. And Sirius did as if he had heard them all the same, still looking and sounding perfectly at ease.

"Don't know... Have you ever kissed anyone?" he asked.

Then, not waiting for the answer (about which he certainly had no doubt), "You may want to try it – so much that you don't care if it's with _me_."

_Is it that?_ Remus wondered.

At least it wouldn't be serious. Stupid, but understandable. Almost normal...

"Or," Sirius continued, unruffled, "you may find me so...attractive...that you don't care I'm not a girl and neither are you."

_It would rather be that, yes... _Remus confessed to himself.

But he was far from_ not caring_, in reality. It was still highly embarrassing. And incomprehensible.

"Please stop trying to analyse my behaviour," he said, hoping his voice wouldn't sound too imploring.

"For once I'm_ thinking_, you shouldn't blame me!" Sirius exclaimed, falsely sulky. "You should be proud to have succeeded in teaching me something."

"This is not useful thinking," Remus protested, feeling much more at ease now they were getting away from the argument. "It's mockery. And you certainly don't need to be taught how to do that!"

Sirius gave him his widest, most "innocent" grin.

"I see that _you_ don't need it anymore..."

Remus smiled, rather shyly. He was congratulating himself on having managed to avoid answering the question implied in Sirius's suppositions when his friend returned to the attack.

"Okay, since you pretend I can't think usefully, let's try some_ experimentation_..."

"What do y-?"

Remus couldn't finish asking for an explanation, but the nature of the interruption was more than sufficiently clear. Undoubtedly, Sirius's idea of experimentation involved their lips meeting with a surprising gentleness, setting off a storm of troubling emotions. And Remus had to appeal to all his self-control to hold back the part of him that was longing to turn it into a very intimate kind of kiss. He had already acted much too impulsively by putting his arms around Sirius to draw him closer...

He expected a comment about that, and, sure enough, Sirius didn't miss the opportunity to let him know that that detail hadn't escaped his notice.

"Now I dare you to pretend you didn't like that!"

"I won't..." Remus said in a very low voice, forcing himself to keep looking in Sirius's eyes because he knew it was the only way to make him understand it was not a right time for joking. "But, honestly, you're insane – do you know that?"

"I know," Sirius replied with another of his "innocent" smiles. "But I bet you _like_ me being like that... After all, I just do what you want to do but don't dare."

For some reason, Remus found that line offensive.

"Are you insinuating that I'm unable to make my mind up to do something I want if that thing can not be defined reasonable?"

"Well...yes," Sirius said in a tone of evidence. "Isn't it true?"

Remus knew it was no mockery, this time, but it annoyed him all the same. Still that "full moon syndrome," probably.

"I can't deny it," he admitted as calmly as he could, "but have you ever wondered _why_?"

Sirius's widened eyes told clearly he hadn't.

"Isn't it just because you're a reasonable person – unlike me?"

Remus sighed.

"No. I'm not that reasonable. Sometimes I even_ hate _being reasonable! But I have to be, because I can't afford to lose control. After all, I'm a dark creature, remember?"

He had to fight the tears that were filling his eyes, as well as the urge to search for comfort in Sirius's arms.

_Ridiculous! _he thought. _That stupid moon is really making a girl out of me!_

As if it weren't enough to turn him into a beast at night...

"You're_ not_ a dark creature!" Sirius protested. "You're my friend. And we're friends even when you're a wolf, you know? There's some kind of canine affinity that make us able to communicate without words."

That rang a bell in Remus's mind. Yes, he had dreamed about that – except that it wasn't a dream, after all.

"You might not want to lose your self-control in front of anyone else," Sirius went on, "but you can be yourself with me, Moony."

"You can't even imagine..." Remus began, but Sirius didn't let him say more.

"Whatever you're thinking of right now, do it!" he encouraged his friend. "I'm sure it'll make you feel better."

As always when someone asks you what you're thinking, Remus's mind seemed completely blank for an instant...then he wished it hadn't changed, because the ideas that force themselves on him were definitely not confessable. He chose to laugh to hide his embarrassment.

"You're taking risks!" he exclaimed. "What if I had been thinking of strangling you? Or using that knife as a dagger?" he added, pointing at the tray that was still on his bedside table, untouched.

Sirius laughed too.

"I can defend myself, you know! And you don't even scare me as a wolf, so..."

"You're too self-confident, Padfoot," Remus said, turning very serious again. "The wolf _is_ dangerous, you must be aware of that."

"I am," Sirius affirmed. "But, as dangerous as he is, the wolf would never harm his dog friend. And, in spite of what you seem to think, you can't really harm me either."

_Don't be so sure! _Remus thought. _I don't even know how to avoid harming myself..._

He wasn't referring to physical harm, though. But he thought it was best not to say that out loud.

"Okay," he said instead, "let's see if I can stifle that excessive self-confidence in a more practical way."

Then he took his pillow to throw it at Sirius's head.

Innocent, childish game... It was better that way.

°  
° ° °

_Thanks again to everyone for your reviews of chapter 4.  
All those kind words were like Christmas presents to me. o)  
__  
Hope you're happy with the "slashy" scene, Purplerains (and the others too).  
I know you were waiting for it..._

_For chapter 6, see you...next year! lol_


	6. Just a little too much

**Canine Affinity**

_Disclaimer: _

_As you all know, Mrs J. K. Rowling is the highly talented author who __  
__created the characters I borrowed to write this story. __  
__And since no one would be stupid enough to pay for this __  
__when I'm publishing it here, where anyone can read whatever they want for free, __  
__you're bound to have guessed I'm not making any money with it, aren't you ?_

_Thank yous:_

_To _**_Maggie,_** _who corrected my grammar mistakes and pointed out my awkward wordings._

_To _**_Arca, _**_who's so good at reviewing in a half-beta half-reader sort of way._

And to** you**, who read the first chapters and were interested in them enough to read this one as well.

_Dedication: _

_To _**_Akari,_**_ my Italian friend, who wrote very good Sirius/Remus stories in Italian,__  
__available (as well as their French versions - made by me)__on her website __(see my profile for a link). _

_And to _**_Nicky_**_, my "near twin" sister,__who has always imagined with me lots of stories like this one  
(she's the one who gave me the idea of Sirius's "fit of jealousy",  
starting with the ambiguous sentence "the only person I want to be with is you")._

°  
° ° °

**Chapter 6 – Just a little too much**

"So, have you managed to get any explanation?"

The question took Remus completely unprepared. For a couple of seconds he didn't even remember what it was about. He stopped artistically arranging salted biscuits on a plate and turned to James with a puzzled look. Then he realized what his friend had referred to...and how awkward the situation was.

Sirius had just left the kitchen, instructing them to deal with the preparation of his New Years' party aperitif while he checked that nothing was missing on the table. That meant he could come back at any time. Or Peter could arrive – after all, he was already five minutes late; even his mother's usual pre-departure "be careful and behave" speeches weren't _that_ long. And Remus would rather avoid discussing the possibility of Sirius being gay in front of him – or anyone else. Actually, he wished he could avoid discussing it at all, but James clearly had no intention of dropping the argument.

"Did he tell you why he doesn't like Lily?"

"It's not Lily he doesn't like. It's just you spending all your time with her," Remus answered automatically while adding some more biscuits to the plate. "I think it will be all right if you don't talk about her tonight."

James sighed. It was obvious that the idea of being forced to refrain from mentioning his girlfriend's name for the whole evening felt like torture to him. Remus tried to imagine how he would feel at his place.

_If I couldn't talk about Si-_

He froze, shocked by his own thought. Of course, he knew there was something weird about himself that had given him such uncalled-for ideas about Sirius, first when they were playing in the snow then on some other occasions after that. He also knew he had loved the kiss and couldn't deny he wouldn't refuse another one. But it was only because he had decided he couldn't go out with any girl, wasn't it? It was because he had never been so close to anyone else. The same could have happened with James or Peter, if Sirius hadn't been the one to be invited at the Lupins' house. Or maybe not?

In any case, it had nothing to do with what James felt for Lily. It was just...well, some kind of need for physical contact. That he should forget, anyway.

"What's wrong?" James asked – and, by his tone, Remus could tell he had already asked at least once before.

"Nothing," he said, doing his best to look perfectly calm. "I...I've just...realized something."

"About Sirius?"

"No!"

That reply was probably a little too hasty, but James didn't seem to notice.

"It's only about me," Remus added uselessly.

It wasn't even a lie, since it concerned his own feelings much more than it concerned Sirius.

"Oh, let me guess!" James exclaimed, eyes sparkling in a worrying, Marauderish sort of way. "You don't dare tell me the truth because, in reality, you _both_ fancy me, don't you?"

At least he found it funny, now... For half a second, Remus was tempted to tell him the _real_ truth, just to see the look on his face. But then he decided to reply prudently in the same joking tone.

"Is that so obvious? I thought I was better than him at hiding my jealousy..."

"You understand him too well. It gave you away!"

Remus was about to compliment James on his sense of observation – hoping it wasn't _really_ good – when they heard a loud falling noise, quickly followed by a resounding "I hate Floo powder!" and a bark of laughter.

"Too bad we missed Wormtail's big entrance!" James commented without showing any surprise.

"I'm sure it won't stop you from pointing out he would no longer have to use Floo powder if he hadn't failed his Apparition test..."

James, of course, had succeeded at the first attempt, just like Sirius. As for Remus, he wasn't even allowed to try. Werewolf safety measure... He didn't really care because he wasn't as clumsy as Peter at stepping out of a fireplace, but Sirius had claimed it was a scandal and talked about sending a Howler to the Ministry.

Remembering that made Remus smile. Although he had to put a curb on it the best part of the time, he liked that impulsive way Sirius reacted to what he considered unfair or simply contrary to one of his friends' interests.

Still smiling, Remus took the biscuits and went through the kitchen door behind James, who carried another tray with four glasses and a bottle of pumpkin cider. He might like Sirius a little too much, but if it was a problem, he would think about it later. Now it was time to celebrate New Years. With the three best friends one can dream to have.

Remus probably let his eyes linger on Sirius more than on the others that night, but apart from that, he acted normally without having to watch himself, which gave him hope that he might be able to hide his incongruous feelings until they disappeared. Then, someday – in a couple of years, maybe – he would tell the others and they would all laugh. James would pretend to be offended not to have been "the chosen one", Peter would wonder forever whether it was a joke or not and Sirius...

No, he couldn't imagine what Sirius would do. Kiss him again to make sure the "fixation" was really over? Blame him for having been so "secretive" again? Or laugh louder than anyone else, declaring "You're even madder than me!"? Maybe all of those things, in random order. Because Sirius Black was one of the least predictable people Remus had ever met. And yet... Yes, actually, there was still something that Remus could predict.

"You haven't told us yet about your new ideas for pranks..." he said casually as they finished dining.

And, just as he had expected, Sirius took out of his pocket a list of "pranks we must do before the end of the year."

They spent the following two hours getting their plans ready. As they had already observed in the past four months, having the Head Boy on their side was a great advantage. And knowing that the Head Girl wouldn't want to get him in trouble could only make things even better...except that there was a big blank in the conversation when Peter mentioned that fact.

Remus and James exchanged a worried glance, but although he looked annoyed, Sirius said nothing. Remus decided to take it for a good sign. Sirius would get used to the situation; everything would be all right.

_And in the meantime_, Remus promised to himself, _I'll be there for him every time he feels alone and "abandoned" by Prongs_.

An instant later, all his attention back to the plan, he made a very useful and undeniably mischievous suggestion that earned him an impressed look from Peter, an amazed one from James, and a wide grin from Sirius, who even exclaimed, "You're great!"

Remus suddenly wished he could elaborate his own prank, just to prove to Sirius he was able to do it, too. Then he mentally reprimanded himself. Why should he do such a thing? He would look like James trying to catch Lily's attention... And he had no possibility to get that kind of attention from Sirius. He hadn't even any _reason _to want it, for a start. Sooner or later, the fixation would end. It had to.

_But what if it doesn't?_

Weeks passed and it seemed that nothing would ever change. James stayed with his friends a little more than before, but Sirius still avoided Lily, and Remus didn't know what to do to make him listen to reason. He could only keeping him company when James wasn't there, sacrificing a cosy reading time by the fireside to talk about Quidditch or pranks while walking on the park, because Padfoot hated feeling trapped inside the castle. Peter came with them sometimes, but it was obvious he did so only because he felt forced to, so Remus had told him he could stay in the common room this time.

It was a very cold, misty day, and in spite of the warming charm he had put on his cloak, Remus couldn't help shivering.

"You didn't really want to come either, did you?" Sirius asked suddenly, stopping in front of the frozen lake. "I know you don't like that kind of weather anymore than Peter does..."

"I wouldn't have come if I hadn't wanted to," Remus answered quietly.

He meant it. He hated being so cold, it was true, but he did enjoy these walks with Sirius and the talks they had. Although he knew he would never be such a perfect friend as James was, he was so glad to feel close to Sirius for an hour or two from time to time that he was ready to keep facing the bad weather if it could help.

"It's nice to stay away from people," he added with a smile.

Sirius turned to him, a dubious look on his face.

"You're so antisocial!" he exclaimed, rolling his eyes, just like he used to do when they were in first year.

"Asocial," Remus corrected automatically. " 'Antisocial' suggests active hostility toward society... And I'm not really asocial either, anyway. Not anymore. Otherwise I would be in my bed with a good book – under _lots_ of blankets!"

The stress on "lots" made Sirius laugh but, of course, it also increased his doubts.

"That's just what I thought... You may not be completely _asocial_ anymore, but you're still very chilly!"

"You'll never be able to change that," Remus sighed, tightening his cloak around him. "But it doesn't mat-"

He never finished the sentence. From the corner of his eyes, he had caught a gesture that Sirius had started, probably without thinking, then suspended.

He decided it was his chance to tease his friend back.

"Remember when you accused me of never doing what I wanted to?" he asked playfully.

Sirius's eyes widened in amazement. They had never talked about that day again, and he surely thought Remus would rather forget it.

"What...?" he began.

Remus had practically no idea of what he was doing, but he didn't mind. He had just realized how much he needed to talk about that, even jokingly, to make sure it hadn't been a dream.

"And remember when you claimed you weren't too uptight to show affection without turning into a dog before?" he went on, ignoring the question.

Amusement took over from surprise on Sirius's face.

"You, trying to dare me? I must be dreaming!"

Remus answered in the way he knew his friend would have: an "innocent" grin and shrug.

"You can't beat me at that game, Moony!" Sirius warned.

And without another second of hesitation, he moved closer to Remus to wrap him both in his arms and cloak.

"Now, if someone sees us and imagines things, it will be your fault, so I don't care," he added.

"Who said that _I_ cared?" Remus replied, still in teasing mood. "And don't be so sure I can't beat you..."

For once, he didn't even think for an instant before acting. A little kiss on the lips proved to Sirius that even Remus Lupin was able to do thoughtless things sometimes. And at the moment, he really didn't care about other people.

There were not many risks that they would be seen, anyway. Who else would be crazy enough to go out in that cold? And a person looking at the lake from the castle wouldn't be able to recognize them – not with that mist. In short, Remus felt perfectly free to stay where he was, and even to settle himself better, putting his arms around Sirius's waist and his head on his shoulder.

"And to think you say I'm weird..." Sirius said in a tone that sounded surprisingly touched under the obvious mocking intention.

"I was _cold_!" Remus reminded him. "Then I had to prove you wrong."

But he knew that those were not the real reasons, and he wondered if Sirius knew it, too. He _was_ weird; he couldn't deny it. Or, more exactly, he was probably...or at least possibly...well, exactly what Lily and James thought Sirius might be – gay.

_If only they were right..._

But no, even in that case, things wouldn't be simple. After all, it would mean that Sirius would fancy _James_...

Instinctively, Remus held Sirius tighter without even being aware of it.

"Are you trying to suffocate me?" Sirius asked, laughing.

"Oh ! Sorry..." Remus apologised absent-mindedly, loosening his grip just enough to let his friend breathe normally.

"Are you all right, Moony?"

Remus moved slightly backward to look up at Sirius.

"What makes you think I'm not all right?" he asked, sincerely surprised.

"Don't know... Maybe it's the way you clung to me...like you were begging for help or something..."

He wasn't completely wrong... But, of course, Remus couldn't explain what had made him feel sad.

"Have you ever liked a person and thought it was...a very bad idea, but...you couldn't help it?" he asked instead.

Sirius stared at him for some seconds, speechless, and Remus looked down, suddenly fearing he had gone too far. On reflection, the question seemed awfully clear...

"Who do you...?" Sirius eventually began.

"Can't tell you," Remus said hastily, "and it's not that important... Can you answer the question?"

Sirius shook his head.

"Never even _liked_ anyone – you would know, if I had."

"Ah, okay... That means you don't even like me!" Remus exclaimed, pretending to be offended.

Sirius laughed.

"You know I do. Otherwise you wouldn't be here, in my arms like a _girl_!

"Stop it!" Remus protested, releasing himself from his friend's grip. "You know I hate it when you say I'm like a girl just because I like books better than Quidditch and because the moon makes me ridiculously nervous and sensitive. It's not my fault!"

"I know, calm down! And come back here, or you'll be cold again."

Did Sirius realize how sweet his voice sounded when he said that? Remus could easily have taken it for a sign that the feelings he was becoming more and more aware of had a good chance of not being unrequited, after all. But, of course, he forbade himself to even think of it. Which was even harder an instant later when Sirius said, holding him tight again, "I'm not treating you like a girl, if that's what bothers you. There's no girl I like enough to care if they're cold."

Remus hid his confusion behind an amused smile.

"So I'm...privileged?"

"Of course, you are!" Sirius assured. "And you deserve it; you're always so kind... I should stop taking advantage of that, by the way. What about going back to the castle and seeing if the house elves have something good for tea? Then I'll leave you to read in peace, I promise."

Remus had some doubts about that – he knew from experience that Sirius was simply unable to stop talking for more than five minutes – but it didn't matter. How could he be bothered by the voice of someone he liked so much?

Liked a little _too_ much, actually...

°  
° ° °

_Happy New Year to everyone!  
_

_Hope you received the review replies in spite of the site's problems. If not, tell me and I'll send them again._

_Chapter 7 next week... In the meantime, please tell me if you liked this one._


	7. Secrets

**Canine Affinity**

_Disclaimer: _

_As you all know, Mrs J. K. Rowling is the highly talented author who __  
__created the characters I borrowed to write this story. __  
__And since no one would be stupid enough to pay for this __  
__when I'm publishing it here, where anyone can read whatever they want for free, __  
__you're bound to have guessed I'm not making any money with it, aren't you ?_

_Thank yous:_

_To _**_Maggie,_** _who corrected my grammar mistakes and pointed out my awkward wordings._

_To _**_Arca, _**_who's so good at reviewing in a half-beta half-reader sort of way._

And to** you**, who read the first chapters and were interested in them enough to read this one as well.

_Dedication: _

_To _**_Akari,_**_ my Italian friend, who wrote very good Sirius/Remus stories in Italian,__  
__available (as well as their French versions - made by me)__on her website _

_And to _**_Nicky_**_, my "near twin" sister,__who has always imagined with me lots of stories like this one  
(she's the one who gave me the idea of Sirius's "fit of jealousy",  
starting with the ambiguous sentence "the only person I want to be with is you")._

°  
° ° °

**Chapter 7 – Secrets**

Remus was playing Wizard Chess with Lily – or, at least, trying to concentrate on the game again. Sirius and James had just decided to go outside and take turns riding the magnificent new broomstick James had received as a Christmas present from his parents. And, before they'd left the room, Remus had thoughtlessly looked at Sirius in a way he never should have... That's why he now had trouble concentrating. Especially because he was nearly sure that Lily had seen him.

Of course, it was all his fault. He really needed to be more careful, otherwise the whole school would soon know.

The realization that he now had a second big secret hit him with the violence of a Bludger, and he let out a little, desperate sigh that would have gone unnoticed in the usual noise of conversations but that, in this case, Lily couldn't miss since there was no one around, for once. All the other Gryffindors had a lesson, so Remus and Lily were alone in the common room, which felt rather odd. Actually, they should have had a lesson, too, but it had been cancelled.

Hearing Remus's sigh, Lily looked up, seemed to hesitate for a moment then said, "We can join them, if you want. James probably won't even see me since he can't take his eyes off that broomstick, but you may have more luck with Sirius."

"That would be a bit much! Sirius would have no reason to pay attention to me," Remus commented, laughing to hide his embarrassment. "After all, you're James's girlfriend, and I... I'm not even Sirius's best friend..."

He knew immediately he shouldn't have said that. The tone of his voice told too clearly how he wished he could matter more than anyone else to Sirius Black. If there had been any possibility that Lily still didn't suspect anything, he had just ruined it.

"He does like you, though," Lily replied thoughtfully. "James told me that you and Sirius have been closer than ever lately. Actually, I tease him about that because he's the one who's jealous now. I used to believe that friendship had a deeper meaning for girls, but I completely changed my mind since I know them better. They're so close it's almost frightening, don't you think? It seems there's barely room for us!"

Remus wondered if the ambiguous wording was intentional. That "us" could be taken as "a girlfriend and other friends," of course, but he couldn't help thinking it sounded more like "a girlfriend and a boyfriend" – and Lily surely did, too, since her cheeks had turned slightly pink.

"Don't worry. James loves you," he said.

He knew she hadn't meant to say she doubted that, but it was the only non-compromising answer he could find.

"Oh, I know that! But you don't sound so sure about..."

This time, Remus couldn't even imagine any alternate meaning to the unfinished sentence. It seemed pretty clear...and he had no idea what to say.

"Well, it's none of my business," Lily added hastily.

Which made it even clearer.

Was it worth trying to deny? She _knew_, in any case. And Remus needed someone to talk to. Who better than Lily Evans, who had turned to him when she was only beginning to understand that James was not all bad (1), to help him figure out what to do now he was the one who felt terribly confused?

"Is it...that obvious?" he asked timidly.

"Not really," Lily reassured him. "I hadn't noticed anything until two minutes ago. But you know...when James kissed me before leaving...I saw you looking at Sirius, and it was like you were expecting him to do the same – or at least hoping he would."

Remus looked down at the chessboard and moved a piece without thinking, just to give himself an air of assurance. The piece protested but he didn't listen to it.

"I know it's ridiculous," he said then in a very low voice, eyes still fixed on the chessboard.

"Oh no! It isn't, really!" Lily exclaimed. "Surprising, yes, but not ridiculous, or shocking, or anything of that kind. Actually, it's exactly what Sirius needed."

Remus eventually looked up and Lily smiled at him. She didn't seem to understand why he was just staring at her, unable to say a word.

"Did I say something wrong?" she asked after some seconds of silence. "I didn't mean to..."

Remus stopped her with a little gesture of the hand.

"I know what you meant. But, Lily...he's not my... We aren't... Well, he doesn't know!"

Lily looked surprised, but not embarrassed as Remus thought she would.

"You should tell him, then," she said simply.

And she moved a chess piece too, apparently at random.

Remus sighed.

"It's not so easy! First, he's a boy and so am I... Do you realize that?"

"Well, it would be hard not to notice!" Lily commented with a little laugh. "But who cares, as long as _you_ don't? I mean... I know that a lot of people would think it's abnormal, or at least very weird, but it doesn't matter... After all, they don't need to know."

It all seemed so simple, following her logic!

"But what if _Sirius_ thinks it's abnormal?" Remus replied.

Then he remembered what James had told him... If Lily really thought that Sirius might fancy James...

"You still think he likes James too much, don't you? And you hope I'll be able to keep him away from your boyfriend?"

He barely had raised his voice, but his irritation must show because Lily seemed rather offended.

"I've never said that!" she protested. "I'm just trying to help you."

Remus looked down again, ashamed of that tiny loss of self-control.

_Pre-full moon syndrome again_, Sirius's voice hummed mockingly in his mind.

"I know... Sorry. It's just that...you can't understand," he sighed, moving on his chair to lean on the back, arms crossed, head still down.

They were no longer paying any attention to the chess game, anyway.

"You could explain," Lily suggested gently.

If only he could! But there were just too many things Lily didn't know. He couldn't mention the wolf and the dog, which were so important in explaining why he felt so close to Sirius, and he couldn't even justify his doubts, since the reason why he thought he might unconsciously have forbidden himself to become attached to anyone but his friends was linked to the Big Secret as well. In short, he couldn't tell her anything.

Or maybe... Yes, of course, there was still the possibility of telling her _everything_.

Remus automatically shook his head to brush that idea away.

No, no! He had sworn to himself he would never take the risk of telling anyone. He had already been incredibly lucky to keep his three friends when they had discovered the truth, five years before.

Deep in his thoughts, he had almost forgotten that Lily was there, still waiting for an answer, and he jumped when she talked.

"Okay. I suppose I wouldn't be very helpful, anyway."

Obviously, she had thought the shaking of head was aimed to her, and he didn't bother to put her right.

"At least now I know there's someone in this school that doesn't care if I like Sirius more than I should..." he said with a wavering smile.

Lily smiled back, with much more assurance.

"I just can't stand it when people have a bad opinion of others for those kinds of silly reasons. It's exactly like that rubbish about purity of Wizard blood, or about skin colours or religions in the Muggle world... It's so _stupid_!"

She punctuated that speech by stamping her fist on the table, knocking over some chess pieces that cast her dark looks.

Remus laughed.

"Don't get mad! You know I agree. How could I _not_ agree, by the way? I'm a half-blood wizard and..."

Since he was hesitating, Lily finished the sentence in his place, "...and you're in love with Sirius. There's no reason to be ashamed of saying it."

"I'm not ashamed," Remus affirmed – though his voice didn't sound firm at all. "It's rather that...well, I'm not sure that my reasons to...like him so much... I don't know if they are _good_ reasons, you see? I mean...I don't think it would have been the same if I...if something hadn't happened more than ten years ago..."

"You knew him already?" Lily looked astonished. "I thought you met here..."

Remus nodded. "We did meet here. I didn't know Sirius when...this thing happened. But he was the one who found a solution to make my life better. Actually, he did something dangerous and...not really allowed...just for me."

He smiled dreamily at the memory of the first time he had seen Padfoot-the-dog. But it was a delicate subject, he knew it. Although he hadn't told much, it was enough to arouse Lily's curiosity, and he wouldn't be able to go on with vague wordings forever.

"I guess it doesn't seem to make sense," he added hastily before she could say anything. "I'm sorry about these mysteries..."

"Oh, I'm used to mysteries!" Lily exclaimed in a tone that was just a little too detached to hide her longing to know more. "There are so many things that James refuses to explain to me... I stopped asking questions before the end of our second week together."

James... Remus had never thought about it before, but now he realized how hard it must be to him, forced to elude all the questions about his designation to the Head Boy position (2), and even about the day when he had saved Severus Snape from what the best part of the other Hogwarts students assumed had been one of the terrifying creatures that populated the Forbidden Forest.

"Sorry about that, too," he said. "I guess it was all linked to...my problem."

The "furry little problem," as James called it... It always made Sirius laugh.

"I don't think so..." Lily answered, looking rather intrigued. "At least, I don't see how your strange nicknames could be... Are they?"

She had asked because of Remus's reaction at the mention of the nicknames. He had jumped again, and she might even have seen a flash of panic in his eyes...

_You should have been more careful_, he admonished himself again. _We _all_ should have been._

"Okay, don't tell me if you don't want to," Lily said in a praiseworthy effort to curb an increasing curiosity that Remus couldn't blame her for.

Actually, he was seriously considering revealing his secret to her. After all, she was James's girlfriend, nearly a part of the gang – or, at least, she could be if only Sirius accepted her. And Remus knew he could trust her. The only trouble was... How do you tell such a thing to a person? You can't just say, "I'm a werewolf," and hope that they will take it as calmly as if you had just made a casual remark about the weather.

"It's not that I don't want to. It's that...it's so complicated!" he sighed. "But about the nicknames...well, let's say they refer to animal totems."

"Like Red Indian names?"

"In a way," Remus confirmed. "James's...totem is a stag."

He knew that Lily would want to know that first.

"It suits him quite well," she commented with an amused smile. "A noble animal that looks proud but is nice... But why..."

Remus cut the question short, in case it would be about something he still didn't know how to express.

"We call him Prongs in reference to his antlers," he explained. "I mean...the stag's. And Sirius is a dog – well, his totem is – because he's a faithful friend and also because of his name, I suppose... He's a big, black dog... What?"

Lily was frowning, and Remus suddenly realized he had stopped talking as if the Marauders had chosen each other's "animal totems". That "I suppose" was definitely an error! Then there were the constant hesitations and confusions between the person and the animal...

"No, nothing... Go ahead," Lily encouraged him.

Remus took a deep breath. He knew he risked giving it all away at any moment...but he couldn't imagine how to get out of that tight spot. It probably was too late. Unless...

"Okay, so Sirius... We call him Padfoot in reference to his...his totem's paws. And Peter is Wormtail because the tail of a rat looks like a worm. Now..."

He was about to pretend he had a letter to send, so he would go to the owlery and his secret would be safe. But Lily had already asked a question – _the_ question.

"And what about you? Why do they call you Moony?"

"Oh, that!That's...that's because Sirius thinks I'm...always daydreaming or something… He says I'm being moony."

It made a rather good explanation, but now, if she asked about the animal...

She didn't ask. She merely looked at him, thoughtful, and when their eyes met Remus felt so ill at ease he thought it couldn't possibly be worse if she knew. Lying to her suddenly seemed even more unthinkable than telling her the truth.

"Okay, that's not the reason. And the animals aren't just totems. They're..."

"Animagus forms!" Lily exclaimed, obviously shocked.

It didn't seem to come as a complete surprise, however. Actually, Remus was convinced she had suspected it since the moment when he had said, "Sirius is a dog" or another thing of that kind. She had refused to believe it without evidence but now...

"Remus! It's...it's _illegal_! Why on earth are you... Oh!"

Sudden comprehension lit up the young girl's face for a second...then she frowned again.

"That was Sirius's idea, I suppose... The thing that was 'dangerous and not allowed'...but I still can't understand how it could have been a solution to a problem you had..."

_Here we are_, Remus thought, with a relative calm that surprised him. _There's going to be one more person in the secret._

"I'm sure you can guess," he said. "James did, when he was twelve."

It seemed to him that it would be better to let her figure it out by herself. The revelation would still horrify her, of course, but at least it wouldn't hit her all at once.

It wouldn't take long. She had many more clues than James had had. Something that had happened when he was a child, the Animagus idea that changed his life, and then his nickname...not to mention his monthly disappearances. She was bound to guess soon.

He saw it on her face when she reached the conclusion.

_She knows._

His heart was beating very fast but he didn't look away from her. And she didn't look away from him. There was not even any trace of fear in her emerald green eyes, only amazement, then compassion. And, when she moved, after a few seconds that felt like an eternity, it was to hold Remus so tight he could hardly breathe.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, still holding him. "I had no idea... I thought James was exaggerating with all those secrets, that he should have trusted me... But how was I supposed to know? Of course, you disappeared every month, but I would never have imagined that it could be because..."

Her voice was shaking and it looked like she was about to cry. Which would be horribly embarrassing to Remus, so he didn't let her say anything more.

"Yes, it's because of the full moon," he confirmed while pushing her away as gently as he could. "I'm a werewolf, okay, you know it now. But it's not that terrible – not anymore, at least. Thanks to Sirius... And James, and Peter. They're always there for me. And I'm sure I can count on you not to tell anyone."

"Oh, of course you can!"

Her eyes gleamed a little too much, but she didn't cry.

"I'm here, too, if you need me," she added with a rather shy smile.

Remus smiled back.

"Now Sirius will be forced to acknowledge that you're really worthy of being his best friend's girl."

Lily's face showed clearly she wasn't convinced that it would be so simple.

"Maybe there's hope, but I still think that what he needs is you," she said, smiling again.

° ° °

A deep silence reigned on the 7th year boys' dormitory. Remus was the only one awake, and for once, it wasn't because he had a book to read, but because Lily's voice still echoed in his mind.

_What he needs is you..._

If only it were true!

He had detailed his doubts, explaining how he feared that his feelings had been distorted by the circumstances and that, if ever Sirius returned them, it would be only because he felt sorry for him. He had also told Lily what had happened on Christmas Day, then later by the frozen lake...

"See?" he had insisted before Lily could talk. "It didn't mean anything. It was only a stupid dare – both times."

However, Sirius had told him he was "privileged" because there was no girl he liked enough to care if she was cold...

_I'm cold now._

He wasn't really, but he knew so well that Sirius's arms would keep him warm so much better than the blankets did...

Lily was right; he had to tell him. It couldn't go on like this forever. They couldn't keep joking and daring each other in order to steal one kiss from time to time, constantly wondering what the other one would think.

That was what Lily thought. And, on reflection, Remus had to admit that Sirius did seem to seize every opportunity to show an affection that had not much to do with friendship.

Then there was that look Lily had seen by chance as Sirius and James were walking away. Remus hadn't noticed it because he had turned his own eyes back to the chessboard as soon as he had realized how revealing the way he was staring at Sirius could be. But Lily was positive; Sirius had turned round to stare at him too for an instant before going through the portrait hole, and that was the kind of look that she could see in James's eyes every time he put them on her...

- - -

(1) This refers to my first fic, _Change of Heart_ (Lily's conversation with Remus is in chapter 4).

(2) Reference to _Change of Heart_ again (chapter 2, this time).

If you're interested in reading only those scenes, just ask and I'll send them to you so you won't be forced to search for them in the fic.

°  
° ° °

_Twenty people reviewed chapter 6 and said very kind things... :o) I'm so happy you like my story that much! Thanks again to all of you. Hope you all got my replies this time.  
And let's also hope that the site's email system won't start acting weird again...  
Don't miss next week's chapter to see whether Remus will follow Lily's advice.  
_


	8. Sweet moments at the sweet shop

**Canine Affinity**

_Disclaimer: _

_As you all know, Mrs J. K. Rowling is the highly talented author who __  
__created the characters I borrowed to write this story. __  
__And since no one would be stupid enough to pay for this __  
__when I'm publishing it here, where anyone can read whatever they want for free, __  
__you're bound to have guessed I'm not making any money with it, aren't you ?_

_Thank yous:_

_To _**_Maggie,_** _who corrected my grammar mistakes and pointed out my awkward wordings._

_To _**_Arca, _**_who's so good at reviewing in a half-beta half-reader sort of way._

And to** you**, who read the first chapters and were interested in them enough to read this one as well.

_Dedication: _

_To _**_Akari,_**_ my Italian friend, who wrote very good Sirius/Remus stories in Italian,__  
__available (as well as their French versions - made by me)__on her website __(see my profile for a link). _

_And to _**_Nicky_**_, my "near twin" sister,__who has always imagined with me lots of stories like this one  
(she's the one who gave me the idea of Sirius's "fit of jealousy",  
starting with the ambiguous sentence "the only person I want to be with is you")._

°  
° ° °

**Chapter 8 – Sweet moments at the sweet shop**

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

A short laugh rang out in the dark tunnel - so dark that two wand tips were barely enough to light it up a bit.

"_Sirius_!"

Remus didn't even need to ask for an explanation. He knew that, from the day they had decided to use that formula as a password for their magic map, Sirius had found highly amusing the idea of his so reasonable friend swearing he was up to no good.

The dots labelled "Remus Lupin" and "Sirius Black" appeared on the bewitched parchment near the end of the passage that connected the cellar of Honeydukes to a corridor of Hogwarts. Sirius, who had taken a step forward to have a look at the map over Remus's shoulder, muffled a swearword when he saw another dot, labelled "Argus Filch", right beside the statue inside of which their only way out was concealed.

"What is he doing there?" he grumbled then. "It doesn't even look like he's only passing... Do you think he could have suspicions?"

Neither he nor Remus had any idea of how the caretaker could have found out about the passageway, since he was a Squib and that the hump of the statue could be opened by magic only, but one thing was certain: he didn't show any intention of leaving the corridor.

The two boys waited in silence for a good minute, eyes fixed on the map, then Sirius decided to go try to hear something from the inside of the statue. Remus thought it was useless and potentially dangerous, but he knew that no argument could have stopped his impatient friend from moving at last, so he merely recommended him to be careful of making no noise.

A moment later, a familiar black dog slid on the stone chute and landed at Remus's feet. Then the dog turned into a grinning Sirius who whispered, "You should see your face!" with a gasp of repressed laughter while grabbing the hand Remus had automatically stretched out to help him getting up.

"Why..." Remus began, frowning.

"I needed Padfoot's sharp ear to catch what Filch was muttering to himself," Sirius explained hastily.

He was now displaying a very much less joyous expression.

According to what he had heard, someone had thrown half a dozen Dungbombs in the corridor, which meant that Filch would probably stay there for ages, cleaning the floor and walls.

"We're stuck here," Sirius concluded gloomily, "unless we go back to Hogsmeade and use another passage."

Remus checked his watch.

"We have barely enough time to arrive before Honeydukes closes," he said with a doubtful look. "And they surely put anti-thievery spells on the windows and door when they leave."

But the only alternative was staying where they were and waiting, which Sirius wouldn't stand. So Remus swallowed his objections and followed his friend down the tunnel in direction of the wizard village.

° ° °

"Two minutes!" Sirius groused, giving a good kick to a cardboard box while Remus sat down on a wooden one and unfolded the map again with his usual calm.

Sirius even repeated the exclamation, adding a very rude word between "two" and "minutes".

"Filch is still there," Remus announced, still very calmly, deliberately ignoring the lapse of language. "Let's wait here, okay? Look, it's not that bad - we have seats and we can get more light..."

Without waiting for an answer, he raised his wand to light a fire in the glass jar that the owners of the shop had hung up for this purpose on the wall near the door.

"Well...since we can't get out of this place, we can at least make ourselves comfortable," Sirius sighed, resigned.

And, with one casual flick of his own wand, he turned a long box into a cosy-looking sofa, into which he dropped immediately.

"Perfect!" he commented, tapping the cushion beside him. "Come here, Moony. The only thing you'll miss is your book."

Remus smiled. Sirius's skills for Transfiguration didn't surprise him anymore, but still, he couldn't help being a little impressed every time.

"I'm sure you're glad I didn't bring my book," he said, setting down next to his friend. "But I won't miss it that much. You wouldn't have let me read in peace, anyway."

"Oh, poor Moony!" Sirius exclaimed with a mocked sorry look. "You'd say I _never_ let you read... You're really exaggerating! The best part of the time, you don't even seem to hear me when I speak to you while you're immersed in one of your precious books. Isn't that true?"

"How should I know, if I don't hear you?" Remus replied, smiling widely in what he mentally called a "very Sirius sort of way."

"Don't smile like that!" Sirius protested, looking away.

Remus stared at him in bewilderment. Sulking because of a simple imitation of his "innocent" smile was absolutely not like Sirius. But, all things considered, it didn't really look like he was annoyed. Actually, he was rather...troubled?

"Sirius?" Remus called tentatively.

"Oh, forget it! I'm just not in the mood for those silly conversations."

That was not like Sirius at all either. Even if being stuck in this cellar bothered him, he should have taken pointless chatting as a good way to help pass the time.

"And to think you said that _I_ am moody!"

It might not have been the moment to tease him, but Remus couldn't resist it. And then, there was a chance that...

"No, you're Moo**_n_**y!" Sirius corrected automatically.

Success! He had smiled!

"I knew you couldn't be really angry," Remus said, maybe a little too affectionately.

"Of course... I just can't be angry with you."

If there had been too much affection in Remus's words, what about Sirius's?

_What he needs is you..._

Remus wished he could ask for Lily's advice again right now. It seemed to be the perfect time to talk to Sirius, since they were alone together in a place where no one would arrive unexpectedly. But how do you tell a friend you have suddenly begun to like him in a way that feels more and more like love? It's not so easy. Especially when that friend is a boy and you are, too...

° ° °

_This time, you have to tell him!_ Remus ordered himself.

He had already let slip two opportunities in less than a quarter of hour, and it was all the more irritating since he was convinced that Sirius always changed the subject on purpose. First a comment about the Dungbombs and the person that had _dared_ throw them in _that_ corridor ("And since when is there someone else who do that kind of things?"), then a useless question about Peter's birthday present, that they had bought in Hogsmeade that afternoon ("Yes, of course, he will like it," Remus had replied in a rather annoyed tone. "He admired it in the shop for at least ten minutes last month!")... And now that suggestion to eat some sweets by way of dinner! Hopeless.

"Sirius, we're not at Hogwarts," Remus reminded his friend with all the patience he could show. "We can't take those sweets like we do in the school's kitchens. And please stop pretending you don't notice when I'm about to tell you something important!"

Sirius, who had already opened a box of Cauldron Cakes, quickly glanced at him, as for checking he was really shocked, then said, "You know, you're still talking like a Prefect..."

"_Sirius_!" Remus insisted.

"Oh, come on, Moony! I'll manage to pay them back for it later. But now I'm starving!"

Remus sighed. Actually, he was hungry too and had to admit that the cakes were terribly tempting. But still, it would be _stealing_!

"How exactly are you planning to pay later without mentioning we were here?" he asked impatiently.

"Don't know," Sirius replied carelessly between two mouthfuls. "We'll see. But I do promise I'll find a way. Don't you trust me?"

"You're so irresponsible!"

"And you are such a stickler for principles!"

They kept arguing like that for two more minutes, then Remus gave up. After all, Sirius had already started on the box; it was too late to make him listen to reason. So Remus decided to have some sweets as well, on condition that they would calculate the price of all what they would have eaten and leave the sum somewhere in the shop in order to make sure the owners would think they had dropped the coins.

And he still hadn't said anything...

They both kept quiet for what felt like a very long time before Remus called Sirius's name again - in a voice so low it could hardly be heard - and took as an encouragement to go on the vaguely questioning growl he got in answer.

"I was wondering..." he began hesitantly. "Do you remember what you told me two months ago? About the way we understand each other when I'm a wolf and you're a dog..."

"The canine affinity?" Sirius asked with an amused smile.

Remus nodded.

"Do you think it could...er...influence us a little too much?" he continued.

"What are you talking about?" Sirius marvelled. "Are you trying to say that we wouldn't even be friends if my Animagus form didn't happen to be the only kind of animal that's close enough to a wolf to be able to communicate with it easily?"

"No, of course not!" Remus replied hastily. "I just mean... Well, I guess it's not the same for you because you're so close to James and then there are lots of other people you could be friends with...but for me...you...you're just the _only_ person I think I can like...more than anyone else...and it's because of that, so... It's a stupid reason, isn't it?"

Sirius stared at him for some seconds before answering by another question.

"Do you realize what you're saying seems to mean?"

In spite of his embarrassment, Remus hold his friend's gaze in order to show him he wasn't joking.

"Yes," he said, apparently very calm although he felt so fidgety inside. "I'm fully aware of the meaning of my words. And I know it doesn't make much sense, but I can't help it. It's just..."

"Canine affinity?" Sirius suggested, looking amused again.

"I suppose."

Sirius's smile widened.

"So you think that Moony-the-Wolf has...sort of fallen in love with Padfoot-the-Dog, and that it stops you from loving anyone but me?"

Said that way, it really sounded ridiculous.

Sirius was laughing openly now, and Remus wondered whether he was making fun of him...until he added, suddenly very serious, "What's wrong with that?"

Remus couldn't find anything to say. He still thought it was a silly reason to be in love with someone, but if Sirius thought it was all right...

"You... you don't mind, then?" he asked timidly.

"About as much as you will mind if I do this..."

_This_, of course, meant putting his lips on Remus's. Gently. Then coming closer and holding him. Tightly. Moving away just enough to look into his eyes in the way James looked into Lily's. And finally kissing him again. Just like James kissed Lily, too.

° ° °

A long time passed before they started a real conversation again. They were now lying rather than sitting on the sofa, and tightly embracing. At some point, Remus had vaguely thought it was quite indecent, but the next second he had decided he didn't care. Then he had forgotten everything. If Sirius wanted him too, what should stop them? Reason? It seemed so unimportant, suddenly. For the first time in his life, Remus felt as carefree as Sirius, and it made him so happy he knew he would never regret it.

He was still nearly asleep, still comfortably settled in the arms of that boy who had become so much more than a friend, listening to his heartbeat, thinking he belonged there and that the people who pretended that a boy had to love a girl, that it was the only normal, natural possibility, just didn't know what they were talking about.

"Why can't wolves purr?" he whispered in a drowsiness.

"Oh, you're right, it's not fair!" Sirius answered in the same, half-asleep tone. "Wish dogs could, too."

Laughing took them out of their lethargy and they looked at each other, smiling happily. Then they kissed, and it felt so natural that it seemed they had done it for years before.

"I'm glad you followed my advice at last," Sirius said, holding Remus again.

"_You_ advised me something?"

Sincerely, Remus didn't remember.

"That was probably the only good piece of advice I ever gave to anyone and you _dare_ forget it came from me?" Sirius pretended to reproach him, frowning as if he were very offended.

"Well, I thought I was following _Lily_'s advice, but if you say I followed yours too..."

"Evans? What does she have to do with that?"

This time, the frown was real, and so was the annoyance in the tone of voice.

"She said I should tell you what I felt," Remus explained, slightly worried. "She had seen how I was looking at you - and how you were looking at me, too. I wasn't completely sure she was right, but...she was, wasn't she?"

"She had guessed I was dreaming of...holding you in my arms, like this?"

Remus nodded.

"And she knows I'm a werewolf, too," he said very calmly.

Sirius jumped and sat up, forcing Remus to do the same.

"_What_? Merlin, how did she manage to guess _that_? What did she say? What did _you_ say? Why haven't you told us she knew?"

"She didn't guess by herself," Remus corrected. "I gave her all the clues. I thought she had the right to know, because she was trying to help me and there were so many things I couldn't explain without mentioning any of our secrets... And then she's James's girlfriend...and my friend, too."

He had added the last words rather hesitantly, since he knew that Sirius's opinion about Lily was completely different from his own.

"But what if she..."

"She won't tell anyone," Remus cut short. "I trust her."

Sirius sighed, still in shock.

"What did she say?" he repeated.

"She was upset and terribly sorry to have been so curious - though she had refrain from asking questions the best part of the time. She didn't look scared or anything. I only had to tell her it was not that terrible, or I think she would have cried..."

"Girls!" Sirius commented, rolling his eyes.

"Padfoot, we _both_ cried when you found out and came to tell me you were sorry to have said I was too weak and girly to be a Gryffindor!" Remus reminded him with a little laugh.

"I was twelve," Sirius grumbled, red colouring his cheeks in a way that Remus found charming. "And the thought of what you had to endure just horrified me."

He drew Remus closer and held him tighter than ever.

"Okay, I guess it was the same for Lily," he admitted then.

His voice was trembling slightly and Remus suspected that there were tears in his eyes again, but he didn't make any comment.

"You know, she thinks I'm what you need to stop feeling abandoned when James is with her," he said instead.

"Oh, she's so right!" Sirius agreed with a wide, happy smile.

But then another thought forced itself on him and his face darkened.

"I wonder what Prongs will think..." he murmured, speaking more to himself than to Remus.

"Don't worry, he won't take it wrong," Remus replied reassuringly. "After all, he has already proven he could overcome prejudices - first when he acknowledged that you had nothing of a dark wizard in spite of your family's reputation, then about me..."

The arguments seemed to convince Sirius, so Remus considered he could keep quiet about some details of his conversations with James.

"By the way, what was that advice of yours I followed without remembering it?" he asked to change the subject.

"I had told you that you could be yourself with me," Sirius reminded him. "The day when I dared you to do whatever you were thinking of. I thought you would never allow yourself to act without pondering all the possible consequences first...until today."

Actually, Remus didn't think he could say he hadn't pondered the consequences at all...

"But I did stop worrying about them when you kissed me," he said rather shyly, putting his head on Sirius's shoulder again.

"And now?"

A hesitation... Just a little too long.

"You still think that nothing would have happened without that special link we created on full moon nights, don't you?" Sirius insisted.

Remus couldn't deny, so he just looked down and said nothing.

"But who said it was a bad thing?" Sirius went on hotly. "And why worrying about how we would feel if that werewolf hadn't bitten you or if I hadn't decided to become an Animagus, since it _did_ happen?"

_He's got a point... _Remus had to admit. But he still wasn't very sure his feelings could be real in those conditions.

"Are you happy right now, Moony?" Sirius asked suddenly.

Remus smiled. About that, at least, he had no doubt.

"Of course, I am! I wouldn't even mind spending all night here...and, actually, I would like that, because I would stay in your arms."

"I would like that, too," Sirius said, smiling back. "And I probably never felt so good in my whole life. So, as long as we feel the same...the reason doesn't count, does it?"

"But what if it only stayed for a few days - or weeks, or even months - and then we found out it was a mistake?" Remus couldn't help asking.

"We'll still be friends," Sirius replied simply.

And it sounded so much like evidence that it made Remus think that yes, of course, they would still be friends, no matter what. So there was nothing wrong or risky in exploring another possibility.

°  
° ° °

_The story was supposed to end here, but I added an epilogue later,  
because my friend Akari wondered how James and Peter would take the news.  
So you'll see that too. Soon._

_Thanks again to the 21 people who reviewed chapter 7 (you're soooo kind!),  
and thanks too to those who merely added the story to their favourite list  
(or alert list), since it obviously means they read and like it as well.  
_


	9. Epilogue

**Canine Affinity**

_Disclaimer: _

_As you all know, Mrs J. K. Rowling is the highly talented author who __  
__created the characters I borrowed to write this story. __  
__And since no one would be stupid enough to pay for this __  
__when I'm publishing it here, where anyone can read whatever they want for free, __  
__you're bound to have guessed I'm not making any money with it, aren't you ?_

_Thank yous:_

_To _**_Maggie,_** _who corrected my grammar mistakes and pointed out my awkward wordings._

_To _**_Arca, _**_who's so good at reviewing in a half-beta half-reader sort of way._

And to** you**, who read the first chapters and were interested in them enough to read this one as well.

_Dedication: _

_To _**_Akari,_**_ my Italian friend, who wrote very good Sirius/Remus stories in Italian,__  
__available (as well as their French versions - made by me)__on her website __(see my profile for a link). _

_And to _**_Nicky_**_, my "near twin" sister,__who has always imagined with me lots of stories like this one  
(she's the one who gave me the idea of Sirius's "fit of jealousy",  
starting with the ambiguous sentence "the only person I want to be with is you",  
and also the one of the scene in chapter 8 when they're in the cellar of Honeydukes)._

°  
° ° °

**Epilogue**

"I should turn back to my bed now," Remus said for the third time of the evening.

But he still didn't move. How he wished he could just stay there, curled up beside his boyfriend, feeling his body warmth all night long and seeing his pretty smile first thing in the morning! But James and Peter didn't know yet they were together, so it wouldn't be prudent.

"Oh, come on! They won't notice if you stay. They can't see through the curtains, you know," Sirius insisted in his usual careless tone.

"And what would I do tomorrow morning?" Remus objected in a valiant effort to keep his good sense alive in spite of the shower of little kisses that was trying to drown it. "I can't just get out of your bed and say 'hi' as if there was nothing surprising."

Sirius stopped kissing him only to burst out laughing.

"The look on their faces would be priceless!"

"Really, Sirius, we should tell them, not let them find out in a way that would shock them."

"It will shock them anyway," Sirius sighed, apparently not in a kissing or laughing mood anymore. "Can you imagine? What would you have thought if I had suddenly told you I was in love with James?"

Remus tensed almost imperceptibly at the mention of what he once had considered a possibility.

"You never were, were you?" he asked hastily.

Sirius laughed again, louder.

"Of course not, Moony! I love _you_, remember?"

Remus was about to say he knew it and loved Sirius too when a squeaking noise gave him a start.

"What's that?"

The squeal didn't repeat itself, but Remus knew he hadn't dreamed.

"It sounded like Wormtail," he said. "I mean, not Peter - the rat."

"Must be a mouse, then," Sirius replied absent-mindedly. "Peter had no reason to transform to go on that mysterious date he..."

This time they both froze. Footsteps... Unnaturally loud footsteps, as if the person who was arriving wanted to make sure he would be heard.

Remus leapt out of Sirius's bed and threw himself on his just in time. But he couldn't manage to draw the curtains close before Peter entered.

"Er...hi!" Remus mumbled nervously, trying to ignore Sirius's giggles at the greeting that reminded him of their previous conversation. "How was your date?"

Peter stared at him for some seconds, looking very ill at ease.

"It...wasn't exactly a date," he said eventually. "Nothing important, I've already told you..."

"Yes," Sirius intervened, emerging from behind his curtains, "but _I_ already told you that was not an acceptable answer. Since when do you hide things from us?"

Remus immediately knew it was exactly the sentence that none of them should ever have uttered. He turned to his boyfriend with an expression that said clearly, "That was not very wise, Padfoot," and Sirius acknowledged as silently as Remus that, once again, he would have done better to think before speaking.

Peter looked at them alternatively, apparently hesitating.

"You two never hide anything from me, I'm sure..." he muttered then.

There was a slight touch of reproach in his tone of voice, but that was not what made Remus look down, ashamed.

Of course, he and Sirius had very good reasons to be discreet, but was it worth hurting their friends, making them think they didn't trust them enough to tell the truth?

Sirius probably felt a little guilty about that too, since he stopped trying to find out more about the date-that-was-not-really-one and asked gently, "You know, then?"

Remus looked up, but said nothing. He could see that Peter was debating with himself on what kind of answer he would give.

"I mean...about me and Moony," Sirius clarified rather uselessly as their friend still didn't say a word.

Peter sighed.

"Yes," he confessed in a very low voice, "I...I heard what you were saying when I arrived. It was...very clear."

Sirius telling Remus he loved him... Nothing could have been clearer, indeed!

"Sorry you had to find out about it that way," Remus said, eyes practically begging for Peter's comprehension. "We didn't intend to keep it secret forever but...well, it's not exactly the easiest thing to explain..."

"I suppose it's not..." Peter murmured thoughtfully. "Prongs doesn't know, does he?"

Sirius shook his head.

"If I had found a way to tell him, I would have told you, too."

That, at least, was a good reply. It would convince Peter they didn't trust him less than they trusted James. Even if Remus knew that, in reality, Sirius cared much more about James's reaction than about Peter's.

"Is it okay?" Remus asked tentatively. "I mean... I know it must come as quite a shock and you'll probably need time to get used to the idea, but..."

Peter made a vague gesture of the hand to indicate he didn't think it was that dramatic.

"I survived the first shock you gave me, so I can survive this one as well," he said simply in a rather awkward attempt at humour while sitting at the edge of Remus's bed. "Even if it's weird that you two are...er..."

"...in love?" Sirius suggested.

Then he turned to Remus with a wide smile, and Remus shyly smiled back.

"It's _very_ weird!" Peter exclaimed, looking, again, alternatively at one then at the other. "Especially because you really don't look..."

This sentence was also left unfinished, and Sirius provided a suitable end again.

"...gay?"

Remus doubted that this word was the one Peter had had in mind - it was more likely one of the much less polite words people generally use to refer to boys who are not interested in girls - and Sirius was surely aware of that as well, but, by a kind of tacit agreement, they all decided to pretend other words didn't exist.

Peter nodded, looking rather worried about the others' reaction.

"That must be because we're not even sure we are," Sirius explained, shrugging. "See, I do like girls...at least when I'm not forced to take them out and spend hours wondering what I'm supposed to talk about. So it's probably by chance that the person I feel better with is a boy."

Peter didn't seem too convinced but, instead of making a comment that the others could have taken the wrong way, he merely turned to Remus with a questioning look in his eyes.

"Oh, please don't ask me!" Remus almost implored. "I really can't tell. All I know is that Sirius is nearly the only person I could allow myself to…like more than anyone else, and I can't believe I'm so lucky. The probability of him loving me too was so distant..."

An awkward moment followed. Although Remus hadn't mentioned the names of the other people he could have allowed himself to love, Peter was not stupid enough not to guess what it meant - those who knew about the "furry little problem" and were fine with it, so James and...him.

The silence threatened to drag on forever when James eventually broke it by opening the door abruptly and asking loudly, "Wormtail, was it you as the rat I saw running down a corridor ten minutes ago?"

Judging by Peter's sudden paleness, Remus had no doubt that the answer was yes. And James obviously shared that opinion since he went on without waiting.

"Were you _spying_ on me and Lily?"

"No!" Peter replied hastily, shaking his head. Then, after a second of reflection, he added sheepishly, "Well, okay...sort of. But I didn't mean to...to be indiscreet. I just wanted to...er...see how it was...to be with her."

Those words seemed to stun James, who stayed speechless and frozen, eyes widened in an expression of amazement.

Sirius took advantage of it to impose in the conversation.

"So _that _was your so-called date! _James's_ date... You know, your living by proxy might have gone a little too far, this time."

"Sirius..." Remus said warningly.

He really didn't think they should interfere in that matter. Especially with such a light tone, even if James apparently didn't care.

"I know. I...I just didn't realize it at the moment," Peter mumbled.

Although he was talking to Sirius, he apprehensively glanced at James, whose silence seemed to scare him as much as an explosion of anger - probably because he feared that the explosion would come next, at any moment. But it didn't.

"Do you...like Lily?"

James's voice was surprisingly calm and only a little hesitant, as if he weren't sure he wanted to hear the answer to his question. Which Remus could understand. It would have made him very uncomfortable if one of his friends had liked Sirius _that _way too. But that, at least, was very, very unlikely to happen.

"Not like you do," Peter said then, and Remus felt a little less worried about the future of the Marauders' friendship.

"How, then?" James asked, still sounding rather unsure.

"Not more than all of your previous girlfriends..." Peter said genuinely - or, at least, Remus had the feeling he had no idea of the strange impression his words could give.

Sirius let out a half-muffled laugh, and Remus glared at his boyfriend, his eyes telling him again he should stay out of it.

Actually, he thought, both of them should already have left the room to let the others talk privately.

"You...liked _all_ of my previous girlfriends?!"

James clearly couldn't believe his own ears, and Sirius laughed again, ignoring completely Remus's silent message.

"I told you he was living through you! You're his hero, Prongs! So he likes who you like, it's as simple as that! Isn't it, Wormtail?"

"Er...yes?" Peter ventured, confusion written all over his face.

This time, Sirius was not alone to laugh. James did, too, and even Remus allowed himself an amused smile.

"Okay, so why don't you ask out one of those girls who had their poor little heart broken by our famous Quidditch star?" Sirius asked Peter.

"Me? You're joking! They don't even know I exist. I'm transparent to them!"

"Well, make yourself noticed...then talk about Prongs and how good he is at Quidditch. At least you won't be short of arguments."

Peter still looked doubtful, but James laughed louder, quickly followed by Sirius. Remus eventually joined in, happy to see that no one seemed to be mad at one of the others anymore.

"Speaking of dating, Padfoot..." James said then, sitting next to his best friend with a rather mischievous smile. "Did you follow that piece of advice you've just given to Wormtail? You've been surprisingly understanding about Lily lately."

"Well...not exactly," Sirius began, instinctively glancing at Remus. "I've found...someone special, yes, but it's not a girl you dated before."

Revelation time was drawing nearer... Remus knew his boyfriend was terribly nervous, and, in a way, he could even sense that nervousness - or maybe he was only imagining things, but, in any case, he liked the idea of them being constantly connected by the link they had only experienced on full moon nights so far. So he tried to concentrate and send some encouraging waves to Sirius.

In the meantime, James had started making subtle deductions in the hope to guess the name of the "lucky girl" who had achieved the nearly impossible task of catching Sirius Black's heart.

"Let me think... Is it that Hufflepuff who refused to go out with me last year because she liked you more? Or that Ravenclaw who always manages to get in your way when you enter the Great Hall so you're forced to ask her to step aside and it gives her the opportunity to talk to you? It can't possibly be a Slytherin, can it?"

Sirius shook his head at every question, and after some more unsuccessful attempts, James begged for a clue.

"At least, tell me what House she's in, what colour her hair is or...if I ever met her, for a start!"

Peter sniggered and Remus cast him a dark look. However, he had to admit that, to a person who wasn't involved, the situation must be very funny. Actually, in spite of all of those "her" references that made it rather offensive, he couldn't help finding James's sentence quite amusing too. So he quickly stopped frowning and smiled instead.

As for Sirius... He certainly wasn't calm, but he didn't seem too fidgety either.

"Gryffindor, light brown hair...and it's someone you know, yes," he said in a tone that sounded almost normal.

"A Gryffindor..." James repeated thoughtfully. "One of Lily's friends, perhaps? But no, Iona's hair is _dark _brown and Sandra has a Muggle boyfriend, doesn't she? Er...another clue?"

Sirius hesitated. For a long time. Remus wondered whether he should simply say, "It's me" to put a stop to the tension that was becoming more and more unbearable with every second. But, before he could decide, Sirius made his mind up to speak at last.

"Canine affinity?"

In less than thirty seconds, everyone turned to Remus. First Peter, apparently worried; then James, as soon as his mind got over his astonishment; and, finally, Sirius - a very, very nervous Sirius whose eyes were openly begging for support.

Remus thought he couldn't allow himself to look embarrassed or anything of that kind. So he did his best to smile reassuringly at his boyfriend and hold his grey-blue eyes' gaze.

"You?" James eventually managed to say in a barely audible voice.

Remus nodded and kept silent.

When James looked his way again, Sirius just gave a "Well, yes. So?" kind of shrug that, Remus guessed, was supposed to convince his friend he didn't doubt his acceptance.

"Makes quite a shock, doesn't it?" Peter intervened, since none of the others seemed to be able to find something to say. "I had just found out when you arrived. Accidentally heard Padfoot whispering sweet words to Moony... Can you imagine how _weird_ it sounds?"

He was laughing, so Remus knew he didn't really mind, but it was probably better to clarify a few things...

"Don't worry, we won't bother you by...holding hands or anything in front of you. We'll be as discreet as we can in order to avoid making you uncomfortable. So nothing will change. We're still friends, even if Sirius and I are also...a little more now."

"Oh, come on, Moony, I will never ask you to refrain from holding Sirius's hand in front of me if you wanted to!" James replied immediately. "Do you think I couldn't stand to see you together? I'm not that easily shocked! As far as I'm concerned, you can even kiss, I don't mind."

The tone of voice and the familiar sparkles in his friend's eyes gave Remus the suspicion that the idea amused him, probably because it would make a good pretext to tease them. However, he decided to pretend not to have seen that and smiled shyly in answer to the reassuring words.

Unsurprisingly, Sirius reacted in a totally different way. Jumping up on his feet, he crossed with one step the distance between the two beds, sat down beside Remus then put an arm around his shoulders and...a little kiss on his lips.

Peter automatically walked the other way to take Sirius's previous place next to James, who was watching, highly amused, as a blushing Remus tried to force Sirius to keep his effusiveness within the limits of decency.

"Maybe we should retire discreetly before it turns to something _really_ shocking," Peter whispered to James - but not low enough to escape Remus's notice.

"Or maybe we could just remind Sirius we're here... Hey, Padfoot! I'm sincerely glad to see you've finally found 'someone special' but I think Moony would rather keep some things private..."

Sirius turned to his best friend with a wide grin.

"I know, but I love embarrassing him. He's so cute with his cheeks all red, isn't he?"

James laughed and said nothing.

"Okay, you probably can't tell if a boy is cute... Whatever. It's true you're happy for me?"

"Of course I am!" James assured without a second of hesitation.

And Remus felt particularly touched to hear him add, "I'm happy for both of you."

"You and Lily are the most incredibly understanding people I've ever met," he said, beaming. "She had guessed even before Sirius and I stopped trying to pretend we were only closer friends than before. And she convinced me to talk to him about it..."

"You did choose the right girl, Prongs," Sirius agreed.

Which brought him an amazed look from both James and Peter.

"What? It's true! She's been great with Moony... Plus, you were right. I do understand now."

"Understand what?" Peter asked, confused.

"What James told me...about being in love."

"Except that I said you had to find the _girl _who would make you understand. Obviously, I was wrong on that point..."

They all laughed.

"You couldn't guess..." Sirius resumed after a few seconds. "Actually, if you had mentioned the possibility of a boy, I would have thought you were totally out of your mind. So it's better that you didn't."

"How could he have had such an extraordinary idea, anyway?" Peter wondered, laughing again.

"Well..._we_ had," Remus pointed out. "But I have to admit it felt terribly 'extraordinary' to me too at first."

"And now?" Sirius asked gently.

"Now...you know what I think."

It might be a little stupid, but he couldn't say "I love you" in front of the others. Maybe he would be able to do it someday, but not now. Not yet. Sirius didn't really need to hear the words, anyway. They were surely written in his eyes.

"You know what?" Peter said to James just a little too loud again. "The weirdest thing is not that they're two boys but that they're _Padfoot_ and _Moony_!"

"You'll get used to it," James replied calmly.

Then, as Remus and Sirius looked their way again, he smiled at them and added thoughtfully, "You know, I would never have imagined it could happen but, in a way, it doesn't surprise me that much. Somehow, seeing you together seems...right."

They both smiled back, surprised, of course, but very pleased and touched by their friend's kind words.

"You see?" Sirius whispered then in his Moony's ear. "We're meant to be together; even Prongs can see it. And that's the real meaning of 'canine affinity.' "

°  
° ° °

_Thanks again to all the people who reviewed chapter 8  
(**Lu**, since your review wasn't signed, I couldn't send you my reply,  
but you'll find a link to it on my profile page),  
and also to all the people who read the story even if they never commented.  
__This is your last opportunity to tell me what you liked or not…_

_It's so sad to say goodbye!  
__Hope I'll "see" you again someday…_


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